Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 36: Episode 8
Meryl Streep On Ice
Meryl Streep…..Abby Elliott
Woman #1…..Vanessa Bayer
Man #1…..Paul Brittain
Man #2…..Jason Sudeikis
Man #3…..Taran Killam
[ open on intercut close-up footage of an ice skater preparing for a performance ]
Announcer: This holiday season, at Madison Square Garden. There’s only one show… one skater… that families everywhere are flocking to see.[ pan upward on skates to reveal: ]
Announcer: Meryl Streep… On Ice.
Meryl Streep: [ with mock humility ] Oh — STOP it! [ she shakes her head ] [ reveal wide angle footage of Meryl Streep ice skating ]
Announcer: She mastered the stage… the screen… and now Meryl Streep takes to the rink.
Meryl Streep: Like it’s anything! I’m just… having fun![ wide angle footage of Meryl Streep performing a complicated move ]
Meryl Streep: I’ve skated twice.. in my life! [ she chuckles ] [ wide angle footage of Meryl Streep performing a complicated move ] [ cut to audience testimonials ]
Woman #1: It was… UNBELIEVABLE!
Man #1: BETTER than “Sophie’s Choice”![ cut to Man #2 ]
Man #2: [ emotional ] All of a sudden, she was out there — a-a-and I didn’t even know she could skate! And, uh — [ gasping as he fights a tear ] I don’t know why I’m getting emotional! [ he laughs ][ cut to kids ]
Kids: MERYL!! MERYL!! MERYL!! MERYL!![ cut to Man #2 ]
Man #2: [ tearing up ] I’m sorry!
Man #3: Uhh — th bitch can SKATE![ wide angle footage of Meryl Streep performing a complicated move ]
Announcer: It’s Meryl Streep like you’ve NEVER seen her before.[ cut to close-up of Meryl Streep as she holds a wine glass at a dinner table ]
Meryl Streep: I just… GET on the ice and GO! [ she chuckles and shakes her head at the idea ] [ wide angle footage of Meryl Streep performing a complicated move ]
Announcer: Meryl Streep On Ice. Choreography by Nancy Meyers.[ cut to kids ]
Kids: WE LOVE MERYL!![ fade ]