SNL Transcripts: Paul Rudd: 12/11/10: Meryl Streep On Ice

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 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 36: Episode 8










10i: Paul Rudd / Paul McCartney

Meryl Streep On Ice

Meryl Streep…..Abby Elliott
Woman #1…..Vanessa Bayer
Man #1…..Paul Brittain
Man #2…..Jason Sudeikis
Man #3…..Taran Killam

[ open on intercut close-up footage of an ice skater preparing for a performance ]

Announcer: This holiday season, at Madison Square Garden. There’s only one show… one skater… that families everywhere are flocking to see.

[ pan upward on skates to reveal: ]

Announcer: Meryl Streep… On Ice.

Meryl Streep: [ with mock humility ] Oh — STOP it! [ she shakes her head ] [ reveal wide angle footage of Meryl Streep ice skating ]

Announcer: She mastered the stage… the screen… and now Meryl Streep takes to the rink.

[ cut to close-up of Meryl Streep as she holds a wine glass ]

Meryl Streep: Like it’s anything! I’m just… having fun!

[ wide angle footage of Meryl Streep performing a complicated move ]

Meryl Streep: I’ve skated twice.. in my life! [ she chuckles ] [ wide angle footage of Meryl Streep performing a complicated move ] [ cut to audience testimonials ]

Woman #1: It was… UNBELIEVABLE!

Man #1: BETTER than “Sophie’s Choice”!

[ cut to Man #2 ]

Man #2: [ emotional ] All of a sudden, she was out there — a-a-and I didn’t even know she could skate! And, uh — [ gasping as he fights a tear ] I don’t know why I’m getting emotional! [ he laughs ]

[ cut to kids ]

Kids: MERYL!! MERYL!! MERYL!! MERYL!!

[ cut to Man #2 ]

Man #2: [ tearing up ] I’m sorry!

[ cut to Man #3 ]

Man #3: Uhh — th bitch can SKATE!

[ wide angle footage of Meryl Streep performing a complicated move ]

Announcer: It’s Meryl Streep like you’ve NEVER seen her before.

[ cut to close-up of Meryl Streep as she holds a wine glass at a dinner table ]

Meryl Streep: I just… GET on the ice and GO! [ she chuckles and shakes her head at the idea ] [ wide angle footage of Meryl Streep performing a complicated move ]

Announcer: Meryl Streep On Ice. Choreography by Nancy Meyers.

[ cut to kids ]

Kids: WE LOVE MERYL!!

[ fade ]

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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