SNL Transcripts: Jeff Bridges: 12/18/10: Christmas Eve in Washington, D.C.

 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 36: Episode 10

10j: Jeff Bridges / Eminem & Lil Wayne

Christmas Eve in Washington, D.C.

Frosty the Snowman…..Kenan Thompson
President Barack Obama…..Fred Armisen
Hillary Clinton…..Vanessa Bayer
Rahm Emanuel…..Andy Samberg
Nancy Pelosi…..Kristen Wiig
Joe Biden…..Jason Sudeikis

[ open on title card ]

Announcer: It’s Christmas Eve, in Washington, D.C.

[ dissolve to Frosty the Snowman ]

Frosty the Snowman: Hi! I’m Frosty the Snowman! It’s that time of year again — Christmas in Washington, D.C. It’s been a tough year for the Democrats. But, with the new year, comes new hope. And I bet if you went around this nation tonight, you’d find a lot of those Democrats dreaming about better headlines in 2011. Oh, indeed! I bet you would!

[ dissolve to exterior, White House, night ]

[ dissolve to interior, Oval Office, as President Barack Obama stares out the window ]

[ a Christmas ditty plays in the background ]

[ Obama smiles as a headline appears in his head: “UNEMPLOYMENT DROPS TO FIVE PERCENT” ]

[ Obama smiles wider as another headline appears: “WIKILEAKS: JOHN McCAIN A MUSLIM” ]

[ Obama smiles even wider as another headline appears: “SARAH PALIN ANNOUNCES 2012 PRESIDENTIAL BID” ]

[ cut to Hillary Clinton staring out of her window ]

[ Hillary smiles as a headline appears in her head: “CLINTON BROKERS MIDEAST PEACE” ]

[ Hillary smiles wider as another headline appears: “OBAMA TO HILLARY: LET’S SWITCH JOBS” ]

[ Hillary smiles even wider and fogs the glass as another headline appears: “2011’s HOTTEST LOOK: PANTSUITS!!!” ]

[ cut to Rahm Emanuel staring out of his window ]

[ Rahm smiles as a headline appears in his head: “CHICAGO MAYORAL RACE TO BE DECIDED IN FIST FIGHT” ]

[ Rahm smiles wider as another headline appears: “‘ENTOURAGE’ PICKED UP INDEFINITELY” ]

[ Rahm smiles even wider and pounds his fists as another headline appears: “RAHM CATCHES, KILLS BIN LADEN” ]

[ cut to Nancy Pelosi staring out of her window ]

[ Pelosi smiles as a headline appears in her head: “MILITARY TO GO EXCLUSIVELY GAY” ]

[ Pelosi smiles wider as another headline appears: “EARTHQUAKE SPLITS OFF CALIFORNIA, PELOSI ELECTED QUEEN” ]

[ Pelosi smiles even wider as another headline appears: “SCOTT BROWN FORGETS TO WEAR PANTS TO WORK” ]

[ cut to Joe Biden staring out of his window with a big open-mouthed smile on his face ]

[ Biden is excited by the headline: “LIVE GORILLA RUNS ON BASKETBALL COURT, DUNKS” ]

[ Biden is excited by the headline: “BATMAN TO BIDEN: LET’S SWITCH JOBS” ]

[ Biden is excited by the headline: “DENZEL WASHINGTON AND JOE BIDEN STOP RUNAWAY AMTRAK” ]

[ dissolve back to Frosty the Snowman ]

Frosty the Snowman: Indeed! Well, I guess my only wish is for Congress to pass some comprehensive climate change legislation. Before my ass MELTS!! Have a holly jolly Christmas, and “Live from New York, it’s Saturday Night!”

SNL Transcripts