Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 36: Episode 11
10k: Jim Carrey / The Black Keys
Merryville Trolley Ride
Guy…..Kenan Thompson
Girl…..Kristen Wiig
Robots…..Jim Carrey, Taran Killam, Bill Hader
Repairman…..Bobby Moynihan
[ open on exterior footage of amusement park ]
[ dissolve to interior, Merry-Go-Trolley ride, as a couple rolls through ]
Girl: Yay! The Merry-Go-Trolley ride! Honey, I haven’t been on this in forever!
Guy: [ chuckling ] Yeah, your sister told me it was your favorite.
Girl: [ pointing ] Oh, look! Here come the Merry-Go-Brothers!
[ two Merry-Go-Brother robots rise with a guitar and tambourine to perform in an eerie manner ]
Jingle: “If you join with our friends in a friendly song, then you’ll have friendship all day long. So come along and sing all day, ’cause that’s the Merryville brother way!”
[ third robot rises to bang a triangle, then they all lower back behind the wall ]
Girl: Oh, my God! Aren’t they great!
Guy: I don’t know… they actually creeped me out a little bit.
Girl: Ohhh! They’re not creepy, they’re cute!
[ suddenly, the ride shorts out ]
Guy: Wha — what was that?
Girl: Hmm… I don’t know.
[ Repairman enters ]
Repairman: Hey — sorry, folks. It’s a little issue with the track. Uh, we should be up and running in no time.
[ he exits ]
Guy: You better be quick!
Girl: [ playfully ] Don’t say that!
[ suddenly, the two Merry-Go-Brother robots rise again and perform in an eerie manner ]
Jingle: “If you join with our friends in a friendly song, then you’ll have friendship all day long. So come along and sing all day, ’cause that’s the Merryville brother way!”
[ the third robot rises to bang a triangle, then they all slowly turns their gazes toward the guy ]
Guy: [ uneasy ] Why — why aren’t they going away?
Girl: What?
Guy: [ freaking out ] Did you see him WINK at me?!
[ the robots lower back behind the wall ]
Girl: Honey! [ the ride kicks into gear ] There! That’s so cute!
Guy: Oh. Well, at least we’re moving.
[ the ride shorts out again ]
[ suddenly, the two Merry-Go-Brother robots rise again and perform in an eerie manner, reaching out to almost touch the guy as he freaks out ]
Jingle: “If you join with our friends in a friendly song, then you’ll have friendship all day long. So come along and sing all day –!”
[ the robots short out and lock into position ]
Guy: [ sweating ] Well — why’d they stop?!
Girl: Oh… nothing. [ she smiles ]
Guy: [ sobbing ] I — I think it’s coming for me!
[ the second robot reaches forward to brush his hand against the guy’s cheek ]
Guy: [ he screams ] IT CAN REACH MY FACE!!
[ the robots kicks back into gear ]
Jingle: “– that’s the Merryville brother way!”
[ the third robot rises headless to bang a triangle ]
Guy: Oh, oh…! Get me out of this car!!
Girl: Honey, will you calm down?
[ the robots finally lower back behind the wall ]
[ the Repairman returns ]
Repairman: Hey — sorry, folks. This is a real mess! You know, everyone’s gonna get a FULL refund. The bad news is: We have to evacuate the ride, but I can take one of you at a time. So, Miss, come with me?
Girl: Oh! Okay. Alright. Well, I’ll be outside, honey.
Guy: WAIT!! Wait! Take MEEEEE!!!
[ she follows the Repairman away from the car ]
Guy: Don’t just leave me here!
[ suddenly, the two robots rise again, this time wielding machetes ]
Jingle: “If you join with our friends in a friendly song, then you’ll have friendship all day long. So come along and sing all day, ’cause that’s the Merryville brother way!”
[ the robots climb over the wall and advance upon the guy and put him in a chokehold ]
Guy: HEYYY!!! THEY GOT KNIVES!!! Actually… that’s a MACHETE!! NO!! NO!!
[ the robots begin to push the guy’s car forward, as the third robot rises with his head in place ]
Guy: Hey, that’s ME!!
[ fade ]
