Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 36: Episode 11
A Taste of New York
Audience member 1…..Paul Brittain
Audience member 2…..Abby Elliott
Audience member 3…..Vanessa Bayer
Audience member 4…..Andy Samberg
Musician 1…..Fred Armisen
Musician 2…..Jim Carrey
Musician 3…..Kristen Wiig
Emcee: Welcome to the Cos-Potin lounge in a mid-town area. How many of you are here from out of town? All of you! Wow! What did you guys do today?
Audience Member 1: We went to the Statue of Liberty!
Audience Member 3: We had pizza!
Emcee: Hahahaha! Very nice! Well now we have a special treat for you, this group is from right here in the Big Apple. And they are very authentic, very true to the city. So please say hello to A Taste of New York! A Taste of New York.
Musician 1: Good evening. Ugh, we are A Taste of New York.
Musician 2: Just a taste.
Musician 1: And, ugh, were from an area called between avenue V and avenue C.
Musician 2: Is there anything youd like to hear?
Audience members 3, 4: New York! New York!
Audience members 1, 2: On Broadway!
Musician 1: Okay, yeah were gonna get to those for sure. Were gonna, ugh, start out with this first. 2,3,4. (sing) See my television set, get swiped by a junky. I guess it just got up, and walked away.
Musician 2: And Parco up stairs, threw a chair through a window. The hustlers, like to drink up on the stool.
Musicians 1, 2, 3: So we have a question for you. Can we stay with you? O please?
Musician 1: (speak) Thank you. You guys all having fun in New York?
Audience Member 1: Could you play something a little bit more upbeat?
Musician 2: Absolutely. But we still have quite a few verses of this song. Listen.
Musician 1: (sing) All the junkies on my block, hang out in my stairwell. Some drag queens I know, hang out there, too.
Musician 2: I saw a family of rats, nesting in a baby crib. People on the subway, stare at my scabs.
Musician 3: Walking down the street, with my stockings all red, when I went to the drug store, they called the cops on me.
Musicians 1, 2, 3: So we have a question for you, Can we stay with you? O! Please!
Audience member 4: (speak) Play something else!
Musician 2: Okay, we will! We will! But first, Can we stay with you?
Audience member 4: What?
Audience Member 3: No!
Musician 1: Can we stay with you? Or you? Weve had a very challenging week.
Audience Member 2: No thank you.
Audience Member 1: No!
Musicians 1, 2, 3: (sing) Can we stay with you? Can we stay with you? I said we have a question for you! Can we stay with you? O please?
Musician 2: (sing) We have also noticed that you need a room key to use the bathroom in the lobby.
Musician 1: (speak) So our next song is, ugh, also a question. Its called Can We Use Your Room Key? Were not gonna go in to your room
Musicians 1, 2, 3: (sing) So we have a question for you. Can we use your room key? To use your bathroom.
Submitted by: Connor Cronholm