Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 36: Episode 12
What the Forget!
Karen Antonelli…..Gwyneth Paltrow
…..Cee Lo Green
[ open in Karen Antonelli’s office, as Cee Lo Green’s “Fuck You” single plays ]
[ Karen turns off the music ]
Karen Antonelli: Whoo! Congratulations, gentlemen — we have a hit on our hands! We need to get this to radio immediately.
Larry: We will — but there is a small problem.
Keith: Yeah. The FCC said Cee Lo’s new song is profane and we can’t play it on the radio unless we change the lyrics.
Karen Antonelli: [ outraged ] What the FORGET are you talking about?!
Larry: Karen! Language!
Karen Antonelli: Sorry, Larry! But this is — I’m — I’m FORGETTIN’ furious! This is FORGETTING BULLSUGAR!!
Keith: Hey, Karen! [ laughing ] Relax!
Karen Antonelli: Shut the FORGET up, Keith!
Keith: Whoa! Whoa!
[ Rodney opens the door ]
Rodney: Miss Antonelli…?
Karen Antonelli: Rodney! Rodney! I’m in the middle of a FORGETTIN’ meeting here, okay?! Can you FORGETTIN’ knock?!
Rodney: Sorry…I forgot.
Karen Antonelli: Well, the next time you FORGETTING forget… I’ll cut off your DIXIE CUP and FORGET you in the ear with it! And then, you’ll always remember never to FORGETTING forget! Now, what was so FORGETTING important?!
Rodney: I just want to tell you that Cee Lo is here.
Karen Antonelli: [ she thumps her desk ] FORGET me in the SASQUATCH! Okay! Send him in!
[ Cee Lo enters ]
Cee Lo: What’s up, you Mother FORGETTERS!
[ Cee Lo takes a seat at the desk ]
Larry: How you doing, Cee Lo?
Cee Lo: I’m feelin’ good, my NINTENDO.
Keith: [ laughing ] Yeah! That’s my NINTENDO right there!
[ the room silences ]
Keith: Right. It’s not cool when I say that word.
Karen Antonelli: Cee Lo, we’ve got some good news and some bad news. The good news is, we love your track! The bad news is, the FCC needs you to change the lyrics.
Cee Lo: [ to the men ] Is she FORGETTIN’ kidding?
Karen Antonelli: I FORGETTIN’ wish I was!
Cee Lo: [ thinking ] You know what? Those people at the FCC can — can sue my black DIXIE CARTER!
Karen Antonelli: FORGET ’em, Cee Lo! They’re SUGARHEADS and SASQUATCH-HOLES! The FCC lady I talked to over there… was a world-class COUNTRY STRONG!
Karen Antonelli: I’m sorry! Still, you know what? I bet if we put our heads together, we can come up with a replacement that works!
Keith: [ thinking ] Fudge?
Karen Antonelli: Back?
Cee Lo: [ thinking ] Pussy!
Larry: Ah! No! You can’t say that!
Cee Lo: Well, you can say it if you mean “cat”.
Keith: Is that what you meant?
Cee Lo: [ chuckling ] No!
Karen Antonelli: Okay, I’ve had it! [ she picks up the phone ] Can I please have the FCC? [ to the men ] It’s time someone stands up to them.
Keith: Go, Karen.
Larry: We’re getting angry.
Karen Antonelli: [ into the phone ] Hello, Julius? This is Karen Antonelli, and I want to talk to you about a little something called “Free Speech”. Because I work with an artist who wrote a piece of art. And he is going to perform it the way it is meant to be performed! And YOU can’t stop him! [ she waits ] Uh-huh… Yeah… Right… Sure… Sure… Great! Thank you! [ she hangs up ]
Larry: What’d they say?
Karen Antonelli: They’re going to let him say “FORGET” on national television!
Larry & Keith: YES!!
Karen Antonelli: Ladies and gentlemen — Cee Lo Green!