SNL Transcripts: Miley Cyrus: 03/05/11: Beastly


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 36: Episode 16

10p: Miley Cyrus / The Strokes


Declan/Good Looking Guy…..Andy Samberg
Friend…..Paul Brittain
Witch…..Nasim Pedrad
…..Miley Cyrus

Good Looking Guy: Should you vote for me just because I because I’m the rich, popular, good looking guy? Hell yeah! In this school looks are everything! What’s the deal with the witch?

Friend: Stay clear, man. She’s into some dark stuff.

Good Looking Guy: I love my good looks!

Witch: Well, I curse you to a life without them! You have one year to find someone to love you. Or stay like this forever!

Declan: Oh no! I’m beastly! Ahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!

Miley Cyrus: Let me see your face.

Declan: Pretty gruesome, huh?

Miley Cyrus: I’ve seen worse.

Declan: Really?!

Miley Cyrus: No dude you look like ****. I misjudged you, Declan. It’s whats on the inside that counts- Ughh dude!

Declan: (naked, eating fried chicken from a bucket) What? What’s up?

Miley Cyrus: Are you serious?!

Declan: I think I sat on some mashed potatoes!

(image of Miley Cyrus, with cast credit: “Miley Cyrus”)

(image of Declan, with cast credit: “Gene Hackman”)

Announcer: Beastly.

Declan: (holding up pregnancy stick) I’m pregnant and it’s yours.

Miley Cyrus: You’re a man and we haven’t slept together.

Declan: Burn! Rango!

Miley Cyrus: Beastly!

Declan: Beastly!

Submitted by: Connor Cronholm

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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