SNL Transcripts: Miley Cyrus: 03/05/11: The Disney Channel Acting School


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 36: Episode 16

10p: Miley Cyrus / The Strokes

The Disney Channel Acting School

…..Miley Cyrus
Raven Symone…..Kenan Thompson
Kid #1…..Paul Brittain
Kid #2…..Taran Killam
Kid #3…..Bobby Moynihan
Kid #4…..Abby Elliott

Miley Cyrus: Hi there! I’m Miley Cyrus from “Hannah Montana!”

Raven Symone: And from “That’s So Raven,” I’m so Raven-Symone!

Miley Cyrus: And if you’re a teen actor looking to improve your craft, look no further. It’s the “Disney Channel Acting School.”

Raven Symone: At the “Disney Channel Acting School,” we’ll teach you all the skills you need to be the star of your very own Disney Channel show.

Miley Cyrus: Disney Channel Acting is its own art form. And to master it, you’ll need to master a special set of tools.

(Both strike a pose)

Miley Cyrus: On Disney Channel every person needs to be the loudest person in the room. Watch…. What’s wrong, Jamantha?

Raven Symone: If I don’t get an A on my science project, I can’t go boogey boardin’ with Devan!

Miley Cyrus: Well, then you should talk Thomas into trading projects with you.

Raven Symone: GOOD IDEA!!!!!!!!!

Raven Symone: In the Disney Channel World, every child is smarter than every adult.

Kid #1: Hey sweetie you wanna see my stamp collection?

Raven Symone: O gee! Can I?! I bet there super cool.

Miley Cyrus: Sweet Niblets! You’ll also learn advanced techniques like, “The Pause then Dis.”

Raven Symone: So you have to pause then destroy the person, for example ask me if I like anchovies.

Kid #2: Do you like anchovies –

Raven Symone: Ehh… (10 second pause)… I don’t think so!

Miley Cyrus: Plus, we’ll show you how to master classic Disney Channel moves like… “Eating then Freezing.” “Reacting to Stinky Feet.”

Raven Symone: Ewww! OOOOOO! Ewwww!!!!!

Miley Cyrus: “Spying in a Doorway.” And “Entering on a Scooter!”

Kid #3: Did you hear Cody’s great grandma died!

Raven Symone: The funeral is Monday!

Miley Cyrus: Disney Channel is all about senserly overload. So you wanna make sure your cloths are as loud and crazy as you acting.

Kid #2: I’m auditioning for “Wizards of Waverly Place,” what should I where?

Raven Symone: How about a bright pink hoodie with a big ass daisy on it.

Kid #4: It’s a little bright.

Raven Symone: What did you say?

Miley Cyrus: Let me show you this blouse I whore on episode 75.

Raven Symone: Glasses on!

Kid #3: That’s so Raven!

Raven Symone: Shut up!

Miley Cyrus: So come on down to the Disney Channel Acting School! Call today! Parents permission, not needed!

Submitted by: Connor Cronholm

SNL Transcripts

How useful was this post?

Click on a star to rate it!

Average rating 4.3 / 5. Vote count: 4

No votes so far! Be the first to rate this post.

Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

Notify of
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x