SNL Transcripts: Elton John: 04/02/11

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SNL Transcripts: Elton John: 04/02/11 ]]>

 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 36: Episode 18


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April 2nd, 2011

Elton John

Elton John

None

Will Forte

Carmelo Anthony

Tom Hanks

Lorne Michaels

Leon Russell

Jake Gyllenhaal

None

The Lawrence Welk ShowSummary: Confirmed bachelor Frances Lynn Mulge (Elton John) enjoys singing and dancing with musical sisters (Abby Elliott, Nasim Pedrad, Vanessa Bayer), but is grossed out by their tiny-handed sister Dooneese (Kristen Wiig).

Recurring Characters: Lawrence Welk, Shirley, Nancy, Dooneese.

Montage

Elton John’s MonologueSummary: Elton John depracatingly jokes about his new life as a gay father.

Transcript

KY Jelly Ladies Shot Put Championship 1985Summary: Commentators Pete Twinkle (Jason Sudeikis), Greg Stink (Will Forte), and sideline commentator Steve Stink (Tom Hanks) keep the KY jelly sponsorship coming in lieu of focusing on shot put match between Charlotte Ft. Worth (Kristen Wiig) and Carmela St. Knix (Carmelo Anthony).

Recurring Characters: Greg Stink, Pete Twinkle.

Transcript

Knights of the RealmSummary: Elton John leads a ragtag group of knighted British celebrities in an effort to rid England of a dragon invasion.

Recurring Characters: Richard Branson, Michael Caine, Bono, Sir Mix-A-Lot, Ringo Starr.

Transcript

An SNL Digital ShortSummary: Andy Samberg and Bill Hader kidnap Wilson the volleyball in order to secure Tom Hanks’ sponsorship for “Laser Cats: The Musical”, in which the boys utilize a shrink ray to defeat the evil Droz (Elton John).

Elton John and Leon Russell perform “Hey Ahab”

Weekend Update with Seth MeyersSummary: Muammer Kaddafi (Fred Armisen). Zookeeper Barry Lewis (Kenan Thompson). Nicolas Cage (Andy Samberg).

Recurring Characters: Muammer Kaddafi, Nicolas Cage.

Royal EngagementSummary: Queen Elizabeth (Fred Armisen) and Prince Philip (Bill Hader) try to coerce Elton John into performing their musical selections at Prince William’s (Andy Samberg) upcoming wedding.

Recurring Characters: Queen Elizabeth II, Prince Philip, Prince William.

The Silver ScreenSummary: Gay classic film buffs (Taran Killam, Elton John) bicker while interviewing Vanessa Hudgens (Nasim Pedrad).

The Old WestSummary: Gay cowboy (Elton John) only has eyes for a fellow cowboy (Jason Sudeikis), but fails to reciprocate interest.

Elton John and Leon Russell performs “Monkey Suit”

GoodnightsTranscript

Dress Rehearsal Cuts

Club FunSummary: Former bad locations are now being promoted as fun vacation hot spots.

Space VoyageSummary: Space captain (Jason Sudeikis) is unable to defend against enemy attack because he’s busy squabbling with his wife (Abby Elliott) over a misunderstanding.

Perspectives Photo StudiosSummary: Spokesman (Jason Sudeikis) promotes the trick photography techniques that makes men’s penises look larger for cell phone photo submissions.

Note: This sketch will air on next week’s episode hosted by Helen Mirren.

Fox & FriendsSummary: Fox’s morning pundits Steve Doocy (Taran Killam), Gretchen Carlson (Vanessa Bayer) and Brian Kilmeade (Bobby Moynihan) make random political statements that have to be researched by their fact-checker (Fred Armisen).

Note: This sketch will air on next week’s episode hosted by Helen Mirren.

Kohl’s Dressing RoomSummary: Two women (Vanessa Bayer, Elton John) try on different clothes in order to please their boyfriends (Paul Brittain, Jason Sudeikis).

SNL Transcripts