SNL Transcripts: Tina Fey: 05/07/11



 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 36: Episode 20


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Air Date:

Host:

Musical Guest:

Special Guests:

Cameos:





Bit Players:


May 7th, 2011

Tina Fey

Ella Goulding

None

Maya Rudolph

Darrell Hammond

Michael Bolton

Akiva Schaffer

Jorma Taccone

Osama bin Laden Video WillSummary: In pre-taped footage, Osama bin Laden (Fred Armisen) reads his ironic last will and testament.

Recurring Characters: Osama bin Laden.

Transcript

Montage

Tina Fey’s MonologueSummary: Expectant mothers Tina Fey and Maya Rudolph perform a duet for their unborn children (Kristen Wiig, Kenan Thompson).

GOP 2012 Undeclared Candidates DebateSummary: The offputting nature of Sarah Palin (Tina Fey), Donald Trump (Darrell Hammond) and other Republican long-shots during an undeclared candidates debate almost assures victory for the Democrats in 2012.

Recurring Characters: Sarah Palin, Donald Trump, Shepard Smith, Newt Gingrich, Jimmy McMillan, Michele Bachmann.

Transcript

Below The WavesSummary: In a knock-off of “The Little Mermaid”, a happy musical performance by an underwater princess (Tina Fey) and her sea creature friends is disrupted by the floating dead body of Osama bin Laden.

Transcript

An SNL Digital ShortSummary: The Lonely Island looks forward to laying down a track with Michael Bolton, but the singer is more obsessed with singing about “Jack Sparrow” and “The Pirates of the Carribbean” than a hip-hop club beat.

Transcript

Ellie Goulding performs “Lights”

Weekend Update with Seth MeyersSummary: The Devil (Jason Sudeikis) comments on the death of Osama bin Laden, who’s already making an ass of himself in Hell. Muammer Gaddafi’s two best friends from growing up (Fred Armisen, Vanessa Bayer) try to defend him while quietly distancing themselves from his behavioral quirks. City Correspondent Stefon (Bill Hader) on Mother’s Day tips.

Recurring Characters: The Devil, Stefon.

Birthing SeminarSummary: Parents-to-be endure viewing a supposedly outdated birthing video that proves to be more nauseating than educational.

Bedelia’s SleepoverSummary: Bedelia (Nasim Pedrad invites her mom (Tina Fey) to attend a teenage sleepover with her.

Recurring Characters: Bedelia, Bedelia’s Mother.

Ellie Goulding performs “Your Song”

Pregnant in HeelsSummary: Pregnancy coach Rosie Pope (Abby Elliott) prepares Shoshanna Bunt (Tina Fey) for a glamorous delivery.

Transcript

Googie Rene’s Slightly Damaged Prom Wear BarnSummary: Googie Rene (Kenan Thompson) sells prom dresses and formal wear at a discount because his inventory comes complete with stains.

Recurring Characters: Googie Rene.

Hallmark “Mother” CollectionSummary: The perfect greeting card for weirdos with a strong Mother fixation (Paul Brittain).

Transcript

GoodnightsTranscript

Dress Rehearsal Cuts

Two A-Holes at a Book SigningSummary: The A-Holes (Jason Sudeikis, Kristen Wiig) bother Tina Fey during a “Bossypants” book signing.

Recurring Characters: Male A-Hole, Female A-Hole.

Ralph the AssistantSummary: Tina Fey struggles to get along with her dumb assistant (Andy Samberg).

Greek Game ShowSummary: Greek contestants can’t lose on their ethinc-based game show.

Late Night with Tyler PerrySummary: Tyler Perry (Kenan Thompson) interviews Tina Fey on his new late night talk show.

Great Women WritersSummary: A documentation of the great women writers who inspired Tina Fey to follow in their craft, although the announcer concentrates only on making riffs about their bad looks.

Transcript

MeditationSummary: Ravi (Paul Brittain) tries to lead a meditation class despite constant interruptions from his mother (Nasim Pedrad).

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