Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 36: Episode 20
Hallmark “Mother” Collection
[ open on Man addressing a Mother’s Day card at his kitchen table ]
Announcer: It’s Mother’s Day. And there’s no better way to express your feelings than Hallmark.[ the man places the card in front of a vase of roses on the kitchen counter ]
Announcer: Because every mother is special — but your mother is most special of all.[ Mother enters the kitchen and picks up the card addressed to her ]
Announcer: Because it’s you… in a dress.
Announcer: Introducing… the Hallmark “Mother” Collection. For weirdos. Because you’re not just a good son… you’re also a wonderful mother.[ “Mother” hugs the homemade card, then places it on the refrigerator next to a lock of hair ]
Announcer: So show yourself you care. Because your mother will never leave you as long as you keep dressing like her… and talking like her… and being a good boy.
Because you’re crazy — about Mother.
The Hallmark “Mother” Collection. Available this Mother’s Day.[ fade ]