SNL Transcripts: Alec Baldwin: 09/24/11: Red Flag Parfum


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 37: Episode 1

11a: Alec Baldwin / Radiohead

Red Flag Parfum

Woman…..Kristen Wiig
Men…..Andy Samberg, Taran Killam, Jason Sudeikis

[ open on attractive woman sauntering into a party atmosphere ]

Announcer: She can stop every conversation… just by entering the room.

[ all the men in the room turn their heads ]

Announcer: She can change your night… with a single look.

[ she stares one man down and makes her approach ]

Announcer: And if you ask her what she does… she’ll tell you.

[ she leans into the man’s ear and whispers: ]

Announcer: “I’m a dancer!”

Female Voiceover: Red… Flag…

Announcer: She’s gorgeous… wealthy… a free spirit… and her ex-boyfriend was a club promoter.

Female Voiceover: Red… Flag…

Announcer: She knows exactly where to go… exactly what to do… and all her friends are dudes.

Female Voiceover: Red… Flag…

[ the woman sips champagne, then hands the glass over to another man ]

Announcer: She’s exquisite… but she also lived in Vegas for eleven years.

[ the man sips the champagne, then spits it back into the glass and steps away ]

Female Voiceover: Red… Flag…

[ she attempts to make another man laugh by playing Peek-a-boo with the bottom of her dress ]

Announcer: She’s funny… but not funny like “Ha ha!”… funny like “Yikes!”

[ she sticks her funger in the man’s mouth, and he quickly gags it out ]

Female Voiceover: Red… Flag…

Announcer: And her pinky nail is waaay longer than her other nails.

[ she uses her pinky nail to scratch above her lip ]

Female Voiceover: That’s a major Red Flag.

[ the woman dances wildly with an uncorked bottle of champagne, as the men look on in disgust ]

Announcer: Red Flag Parfum, by Chanel. The only perfume that warns men:

[ she turns to leave the party ]

Woman: I’m fucking crazy!

[ she runs from the party ]

Announcer: Red Flag.

[ fade ]

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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Anton Spivack
Anton Spivack
2 years ago

The last line: Red Flag. Smells like trouble.

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