Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 37: Episode 2
11b: Melissa McCarthy / Lady Antebellum
Lil Poundcake
Mom…..Vanessa Bayer
Mother #2…..Kristen Wiig
[ open on little girl playing with Lil Poundcake doll, as her Mom enters ]
Mom: Heyyy! Who’s your friend?
Little Girl: [ holding up her doll ] It’s Lil Poundcake!
[ cut to rapid-fire footage of little girls playing with Lil Poundcake — lying in bed, selling lemonade, running ]
Jingle:
“She talks amazing
She’s my very best friend!
Lil Poundcake!
Lil Poundcake!”
Announcer: It’s Lil Poundcake, the sweetest doll on the block!
[ cut to little girl ]
Little Girl: She smells like frosting!
[ cut to second little girl ]
Little Girl #2: I can wear her earrings!
[ cut to third little girl ]
Little Girl #3: She loves to dance!
Jingle:
“She has a purse
and hair that grows!
She’ll keep you safefrom HPV!”
[ Little Girl stops scooping sugar ]
Little Girl: H P what?!?
[ other little girls lean in ]
Little Girls: V!! [ they laugh ]
[ SUPER: “Human Papilloma Virus!!!” ]
[ cut to little girls having tea party ]
Little Girl: Would you like some more tea?
[ a surgical needle protrudes from Lil Poundcake’s arm and administers a shot ]
Little Girl: Awesome! She got me!
[ the other little girls laugh ]
[ cut to product slide ]
Announcer: Lil Poundcake is the first doll approved to administer the Human Papilloma Virus vaccination to girls under 10!
[ cut to shots of girls playing with Lil Poundcake ]
Jingle:
“Lil Poundcake!
Lil Poundcake!”
[ cut to close-up of Lil Poundcake’s hand squirting the vaccination from a needle ]
Announcer: Lil Poundcake protects against HPV, with a series of three injections over a period of six months! AND… she’s got her pwn PHONE!
[ cut to little girl playing with Lil Poundcake ]
Little Girl: Look — she’s texting!
[ Lil Poundcake’s other arm points a needle at the ltitle girl ]
Little Girl: Hey! Lil Poundcake! [ she laughs ]
[ cut to Lil Poundcake coming to life as another little girl sleeps ]
Jingle:
“Side effects include
Fever and Nausea!
Do not use
if you’re already pregnant!”
[ cut to little girls running around with their Lil Poundcake dolls ]
Announcer: Once you’re done playing with Lil Poundcake and you’ve gotten all your shots, remember to dispose of her in the Lil Poundcake bin at your local hospital!
[ little girl drops her lil Poundcake in the biohazard bin filled with other Lil Poundcake dolls ]
[ the doll looks up at the Mother ]
Jingle:
“Lil Poundcake!
Lil Poundcake!”
[ Mother quickly closes the biohazard bin ]
[ cut to product slide ]
Announcer: Lil Poundcake. The only thing you’re gonna get infected with… is FUN!
[ fade ]
