SNL Transcripts: Charlie Day: 11/05/11


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 37: Episode 5

This free script provided by]]>

Air Date:


Musical Guest:

Special Guests:


Bit Players:

November 5th, 2011

Charlie Day

Maroon 5


Danny DeVito

Travie McCoy


A Message From the Ghost of Moammar GaddafiSummary: Live from Hell, The Ghost of Moammar Gaddafi (Fred Armisen) reports on his recent capture and death and gives a status update.

Recurring Characters: Moammar Gaddafi.



Charlie Day’ MonologueSummary: Having achieved his dream of hosting “SNL”, Charlie Day plans to relax and take easy, but “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia” co-star and frequent “SNL” host, Danny DeVito, tells him he has to really put out and deliver, so Day performs a song about himself.


Kim’s Fairy Tale DivorceSummary: E! promises lots of glamour and excitement when it televises the hot divorce proceedings between Kim Kardashian (Nasim Pedrad) and CHris Humphies (Andy Samberg).

Recurring Characters: Kim Kardashian, Kourtney Kardashian, Khloe Kardashian.


The Dr. Oz ShowSummary: Dr. Oz (Bill Hader) embarrasses an audience member Charlie Day) by offering poor medical advice for his dead rectum.


Greek GodsSummary: Zeus (Jason Sudeikis) organizes the other Greek gods so they can put their heads together to help solve the current financial crisis in Greece.


It’s Getting Freaky with Cee Lo Green!Summary: Cee Lo Green (Kenan Thompson), Freakasaurus (Charlie Day) and Colonel Nasty (Bill Hader) help a couple (Andy Samberg, Abby Elliott) put the freaky back into their marriage.

Recurring Characters: Cee Lo Green, Colonel Nasty, The Atlanta Horns.

The Original Kings Of Catchphrase Comedy Volume 2Summary: A group of hacky comedians are back on tour with even more of their catchphrase-repeating friends.

Recurring Characters: David “Beef Jelly” Winfield, Goran “Funky Boy” Bogdan, Slappy Pappy, Addi “News Flash” Sweeney, Boston Powers, Fur Coat Rhonda.

Maroon 5 performs “Moves Like Jagger”

Weekend Update with Seth MeyersSummary: Rick Perry (Bill Hader) defends allegations that he was drunk while delivering a speech in New Hampshire. Seth Meyers offers “A Closer Look at Europe” in order to explain Greece’s financial crisis. Travel guru Judy Grimes (Kristen Wiig) counters her nervousness by kidding around while attempting to reveal last-minute travel bargains.

Recurring Characters: Rick Perry, Judy Grimes.

Because of One DolphinSummary: On the set of a new family film, an actor (Charlie Day) is frustrated by both his dolphin co-star’s animal trainer (Taran Killam) and a boom mic operator (Kenan Thompson) who thinks he can do a better job with the scene.

Maroon 5 and Travie McCoy perform “Stereo Heart”

Crime SceneSummary: Detective (Charlie Day) pleads ignorance to officer’s (Jason Sudeikis) pop culture references while attempting to solve a murder.


Lil PoundcakeSummary: The realistic doll that gives HPV vaccination shots to little girls.

Note: Repeat from 11b

GoodnightsTranscript AD

Dress Rehearsal Cuts

Herman Cain SingsSummary: Herman Cain (Kenan Thompson) sings songs out of context using his own words.

Recurring Characters: Herman Cain.

Computer StoreSummary: Computer store manager (Charlie Day) hires only ex-prostitutes to move his merchandise.

The Blue Jean CommitteeSummary: Members of the Blue Jean Committee (Fred Armisen, Charlie Day, Jason Sudeikis, Kenan Thompson) are local western Massachusetts boys about to go national, but still wow the crowd at the local bar with their hit “Massachusetts Afternoon”.

Note: This sketch will later air on the episode hosted by Jason Segel.

SNL Transcripts

How useful was this post?

Click on a star to rate it!

Average rating 1 / 5. Vote count: 1

No votes so far! Be the first to rate this post.

Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

Notify of
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x