SNL Transcripts: Emma Stone: 11/12/11: Les Jeunes de Paris


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 37: Episode 6

11f: Emma Stone / Coldplay

Les Jeunes de Paris

Francois…..Taran Killam
Juliette…..Emma Stone
Marius…..Paul Brittain
Stewart…..Bobby Moynihan
French Girls…..Abby Elliott, Nasim Pedrad
Napoleon…..Fred Armisen
The Hunchback of Notre Dame…..Andy Samberg

[Open on France3 graphic.]

Announcer: Vous regardez France3, la televison supercool. [You are watching France 3 – supercool television.] [Cut to opening credits: Metro station, skaters, the Eiffel Tower, etc.] [Dissolve to Parisian bistro, as Francois and Juliette are sitting at a table.]

Francois: Non, non, Juliette! S’il vous plait! [No, no, Juliette! Please!]

Juliette: Je suis desolé, Francois. Ce n’est pas vous, il est moi. [I’m sorry, Francois. It’s not you, it’s me.]

Francois: Mais pourqoi? Mais pourqoi, Juliette? [But why? But why, Juliette?] [Juliette stands and takes her suitcase.]

Juliette: Je veux voir le monde. [I want to see the world.] [She waves goodbye to Marius.]

Juliette: Au revoir, Marius.

Everybody: Bon voyage!

[She starts to leave as Francois jumps up.]

Francois: Non! [No!] [Juliette stops.]

Francois: Marius. „A cause de garcons“.

[Marius thumps the jukebox, which begins to play „A cause de garcons“ by Yelle.] [Francois strikes a few dance poses and moves toward Juliette, who walks toward him, intrigued. She crosses her arms and tries to look uninterested as he dances around her. After a few moments she gives in and follows his moves, mirroring his dancing.] [The chorus begins and everybody in the room begins to dance wildly.] [Francois grabs a chair and places it in front of the exit. He seductively rubs himself against it, shaking his ass at Juliette, before sitting down on it, guarding the door.] [Juliette and another girl pull him off the chair and across the room. Juliette starts walking towards the door, but Francois grabs her sweater and pulls it off her.] [Startled, she throws her hands in the air, exposing her hairy, hairy armpits.] [Francois puts her sweater around her shoulders and goes on to put a chain and a lock around the door handles. With ostentation, he brushes dust off his hands.] [Determined, Juliette prouces a baguette and starts smashing the chain apart with it.] [The door opens and Francois, suddenly outside of the bistro, jumps in and dances in front of Juliette.] [Everybody resumes to dance wildly, as Francois takes Juliette’s suitcase and throws it on top of the jukebox, out of her reach.]

Juliette: Non!

[He becons her to come to him, but she is happily rubbing herself against Napoleon, who is standing still with one hand in his coat.] [Not to be outdone, Francois grabs a red balloon that has floated from above and starts dancing with it before passionately running his tongue over it.] [The balloon explodes.] [Francois turns and gets down on one knee in front of Juliette, placing a ring on her finger. The other people in the bistro come and put Juliette in a wedding gown and a bow tie on Francois.] [Napoleon weds the bridal couple. They kiss.] [Juliette gives birth to an infant that crawls out from in beetween her legs.] [Everybody resumed to wild dancing, as bicyclists from the Tour De France race through the scene.] [Red, white and blue balloons suddenly fall over the group as Francois grabs Juliette, spins her around and holds her in a pose, as everyone in the room freezes.] [The hunchback jumps into frame.]

The Hunchback: Sanctuary!

[Cut to title card.] [Fade.]

Submitted by: Bon

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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