SNL Transcripts: Emma Stone: 11/12/11: Les Jeunes de Paris

 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 37: Episode 6

11f: Emma Stone / Coldplay

Les Jeunes de Paris

Francois…..Taran Killam
Juliette…..Emma Stone
Marius…..Paul Brittain
Stewart…..Bobby Moynihan
French Girls…..Abby Elliott, Nasim Pedrad
Napoleon…..Fred Armisen
The Hunchback of Notre Dame…..Andy Samberg

[Open on France3 graphic.]

Announcer: Vous regardez France3, la televison supercool. [You are watching France 3 – supercool television.] [Cut to opening credits: Metro station, skaters, the Eiffel Tower, etc.] [Dissolve to Parisian bistro, as Francois and Juliette are sitting at a table.]

Francois: Non, non, Juliette! S’il vous plait! [No, no, Juliette! Please!]

Juliette: Je suis desolé, Francois. Ce n’est pas vous, il est moi. [I’m sorry, Francois. It’s not you, it’s me.]

Francois: Mais pourqoi? Mais pourqoi, Juliette? [But why? But why, Juliette?] [Juliette stands and takes her suitcase.]

Juliette: Je veux voir le monde. [I want to see the world.] [She waves goodbye to Marius.]

Juliette: Au revoir, Marius.

Everybody: Bon voyage!

[She starts to leave as Francois jumps up.]

Francois: Non! [No!] [Juliette stops.]

Francois: Marius. „A cause de garcons“.

[Marius thumps the jukebox, which begins to play „A cause de garcons“ by Yelle.] [Francois strikes a few dance poses and moves toward Juliette, who walks toward him, intrigued. She crosses her arms and tries to look uninterested as he dances around her. After a few moments she gives in and follows his moves, mirroring his dancing.] [The chorus begins and everybody in the room begins to dance wildly.] [Francois grabs a chair and places it in front of the exit. He seductively rubs himself against it, shaking his ass at Juliette, before sitting down on it, guarding the door.] [Juliette and another girl pull him off the chair and across the room. Juliette starts walking towards the door, but Francois grabs her sweater and pulls it off her.] [Startled, she throws her hands in the air, exposing her hairy, hairy armpits.] [Francois puts her sweater around her shoulders and goes on to put a chain and a lock around the door handles. With ostentation, he brushes dust off his hands.] [Determined, Juliette prouces a baguette and starts smashing the chain apart with it.] [The door opens and Francois, suddenly outside of the bistro, jumps in and dances in front of Juliette.] [Everybody resumes to dance wildly, as Francois takes Juliette’s suitcase and throws it on top of the jukebox, out of her reach.]

Juliette: Non!

[He becons her to come to him, but she is happily rubbing herself against Napoleon, who is standing still with one hand in his coat.] [Not to be outdone, Francois grabs a red balloon that has floated from above and starts dancing with it before passionately running his tongue over it.] [The balloon explodes.] [Francois turns and gets down on one knee in front of Juliette, placing a ring on her finger. The other people in the bistro come and put Juliette in a wedding gown and a bow tie on Francois.] [Napoleon weds the bridal couple. They kiss.] [Juliette gives birth to an infant that crawls out from in beetween her legs.] [Everybody resumed to wild dancing, as bicyclists from the Tour De France race through the scene.] [Red, white and blue balloons suddenly fall over the group as Francois grabs Juliette, spins her around and holds her in a pose, as everyone in the room freezes.] [The hunchback jumps into frame.]

The Hunchback: Sanctuary!

[Cut to title card.] [Fade.]

Submitted by: Bon

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