Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 37: Episode 6
Les Jeunes de Paris
Francois…..Taran Killam
Juliette…..Emma Stone
Marius…..Paul Brittain
Stewart…..Bobby Moynihan
French Girls…..Abby Elliott, Nasim Pedrad
Napoleon…..Fred Armisen
The Hunchback of Notre Dame…..Andy Samberg
Announcer: Vous regardez France3, la televison supercool. [You are watching France 3 supercool television.] [Cut to opening credits: Metro station, skaters, the Eiffel Tower, etc.] [Dissolve to Parisian bistro, as Francois and Juliette are sitting at a table.]
Francois: Non, non, Juliette! S’il vous plait! [No, no, Juliette! Please!]
Juliette: Je suis desolé, Francois. Ce n’est pas vous, il est moi. [I’m sorry, Francois. It’s not you, it’s me.]
Francois: Mais pourqoi? Mais pourqoi, Juliette? [But why? But why, Juliette?] [Juliette stands and takes her suitcase.]
Juliette: Je veux voir le monde. [I want to see the world.] [She waves goodbye to Marius.]
Juliette: Au revoir, Marius.
Everybody: Bon voyage!
[She starts to leave as Francois jumps up.]Francois: Non! [No!] [Juliette stops.]
Francois: Marius. A cause de garcons.
Juliette: Non!
[He becons her to come to him, but she is happily rubbing herself against Napoleon, who is standing still with one hand in his coat.] [Not to be outdone, Francois grabs a red balloon that has floated from above and starts dancing with it before passionately running his tongue over it.] [The balloon explodes.] [Francois turns and gets down on one knee in front of Juliette, placing a ring on her finger. The other people in the bistro come and put Juliette in a wedding gown and a bow tie on Francois.] [Napoleon weds the bridal couple. They kiss.] [Juliette gives birth to an infant that crawls out from in beetween her legs.] [Everybody resumed to wild dancing, as bicyclists from the Tour De France race through the scene.] [Red, white and blue balloons suddenly fall over the group as Francois grabs Juliette, spins her around and holds her in a pose, as everyone in the room freezes.] [The hunchback jumps into frame.]The Hunchback: Sanctuary!
[Cut to title card.] [Fade.]Submitted by: Bon