SNL Transcripts: Jimmy Fallon: 12/17/11: Michael Bublé Christmas Duets


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 37: Episode 10

11j: Jimmy Fallon / Michael Bublé

Michael Bublé Christmas Duets

…..Michael Bublé
Sting…..Jimmy Fallon
Taylor Swift…..Kristen Wiig
Justin Bieber…..Jimmy Fallon
M.I.A…..Nasim Pedrad
Russell Brand…..Jimmy Fallon
Ke$ha…..Abby Elliott
Scott McCreery…..Taran Killam
Thom Yorke…..Fred Armisen
Kanye West…..Jay Pharoah

[fade in on Michael Bublé in a decorated studio]

Michael Bublé: [singing] O come all ye faithful, joyful and triumphant…

Announcer: It’s official, Michael Bublé’s Christmas is the number one album in America! And now, Bublé is back with a brand-new collection of Christmas duets. With legendary performers like Sting…

[Sting appears next to Bublé with bleached hair, skintight black clothes and a guitar]

Michael Bublé: [singing] Deck the halls with boughs of holly…

Sting: [singing to the tune of “Don’t Stand So Close to Me,” I think] Fa-la-la, fa-la-la, fa-la-la-la-la-la.

Michael Bublé: [singing] ‘Tis the season to be jolly…

Sting: [singing to the tune of “Desert Rose”] Fa-la-la-la-la-la-flo, fa-la-flo-fla-la-fo! [Bublé looks confused]

Announcer: And Taylor Swift! [Taylor appears with an acoustic guitar]

Michael Bublé: [singing] I saw three ships come sailing in on Christmas Day, on Christmas Day…

[Taylor just makes a series of shocked, excited faces]

Announcer: Plus, Justin Bieber! [Bieber appears in a purple hoodie]

Michael Bublé: [singing] Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way…

[Bieber is too busy pop-locking and doing heart hands to sing his part]

Michael Bublé: It’s your–it’s your line, man.

[Bieber just winks and shimmies around]

Announcer: And the always-controversial M.I.A.! [she appears in an oversized t-shirt]

Michael Bublé: [singing] Up on the rooftop–

M.I.A.: [singing in a Cockney accent] Quick, quick, quick–

Michael Bublé: [singing] Down through the chimney–

[M.I.A. fires a gun three times into the air, scaring the daylights out of Bublé]

Michael Bublé: What the [bleep]?!

Announcer: With a special appearance by Russell Brand! [he appears in a half-unbuttoned black shirt and lots of jewelry]

Michael Bublé: [singing] Angels we have heard on high…

Russell Brand: Now why would an angel want to get high? They wouldn’t need to, would they, they’re already in the clouds; it’s kinda their thing. I once saw a man named Angel get high! [Bublé looks annoyed] We’d all be lucky to meet a man like Angel, if he just pranced through your door–“Hello, I’m Angel. D’you got any drugs?”

Announcer: It’s the collection of holiday duets you’ll treasure forever! [the CD appears] Featuring chart-toppers like Ke$ha! [she appears with long, messy hair and glittery eye makeup]

Michael Bublé: [singing] Eight maids a-milking…

Ke$ha: [singing] Seven dudes a-puking…

Michael Bublé: [singing] Six geese a-laying…

Ke$ha: [singing] I got Hep C… [she blows a kiss and flails her tongue at the camera]

Announcer: And “American Idol” winner Scotty McCreery! [he shakes Bublé’s hand]

Michael Bublé: [singing] O holy night…

Scotty McCreery: [singing in an absurdly low baritone and with strange facial expressions] The stars are brightly shinin’! It is the night of our dear Savior’s birrrrrrth. [Bublé looks alarmed]

Announcer: Featuring Radiohead’s Thom Yorke! [Thom appears with messy hair and beard and dancing wildly]

Michael Bublé: [singing] Silent night…

Thom Yorke: [flailing around and half-whining] Silent…silent…silent…

Michael Bublé: [singing] Holy night…

Thom Yorke: [continues flailing] Holy…holy… [he dances over to Bublé]

Announcer: And Lady Gaga! [a decorated Christmas tree appears with a pink wig and googly eyes]

Michael Bublé: Wait, is this really her?

Announcer: With a special appearance by Kanye West! [Kanye bounces in and pushes Bublé out of the way]

Kanye West: [rapping] Hey little Jesus, you’re just a baby. You had a donkey, I got a Mercedes! [with autotune] Jesus, I’m so much better than you!

Announcer: Michael Bublé’s Christmas Duets! [Bieber reappears and keeps dancing]

Justin Bieber: Yeah! [he winks]

Announcer: In stores now! [Bieber does more heart hands and grabs Bublé’s hand to do a snake motion]

Submitted by: Rose Esposito

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

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