SNL Transcripts: Daniel Radcliffe: 01/14/12: Glenda Okones for Mayor II


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 37: Episode 12

11l: Daniel Radcliffe / Lana Del Rey

Glenda Okones for Mayor II

Glenda Okones…..Kristen Wiig

[ open on silent clip from previous Glenda Okones ad ]

Announcer: Glenda Okones claims she’s a bad listener with a pointy face. But what isn’t she telling us?

[ flash-cuto to Okones ]

Glenda Okones: I’m Glenda Okones, Glen Falls mayoral candidate. I claimed it was “all out there” in my last ad, but I’m calling B.S. on myself!

Announcer: B.S.!

Glenda Okones: That was not everything. I do have a few more flaws. Some say I’m abrasive. I am always honking. I’m a single mother of two girls — I do love the youngest one more than the oldest. Yeah, yeah — I know as a parent, you’re not supposed to admit that… but for now my youngest is in the lead — by a long shot! Environment? Don’t care about it. If I see a spider, I’m gonna smash the SHIT out of it! If I see a bunny on my lawn, I’m gonna run after that freakin’ thing with a HATCHET! And I won’t have to get the hatchet, ’cause I carry one on me at all times.

Well, now you’ve definitely heard it all. Take it or leave — I am naked in front of you. Not literally, thank heavens, ’cause let’s just say I don’t do any maintenance. Vote Okones.

Announcer: Glenda Okones for Mayor.

[ fade ]

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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