SNL Transcripts: Zooey Deschanel: 02/11/12: Clint Eastwood Chrysler Ad

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 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 37: Episode 14








11n: Zooey Deschanel / Karmin

Clint Eastwood Chrysler Ad

Clint Eastwood…..Bill Hader

[ open on footage from Clint Eastwood’s Chrysler ad that ran during the Super Bowl ]

Clint Eastwood V/O: During the Super Bowl, I said it was halftime for America. I said Motor City’s getting back on its feet. I tried to make an inspiring ad that would rally our country. But you dummies in the media thought it was about politics!

[ cut to Clint Eastwood ]

Clint Eastwood: Well, guess what?! Halftime’s over! We’re in the third quarter now, America, and we’re WAY behind! So I don’t care if Obama runs the ball, or Romney throws a touchdown, or Ron Paul kicks a field goal with his tiny little chicken legs! I’ll tell you right now, though — I ain’t putting Santorum in the game! He can stand on the sideline doing cheers in his little sweater vest! PUSSY!!

[ Eastwood glances off-camera ]

Clint Eastwood: What’s this commercial for, again? Alright. Chrysler! Get a Chrysler… and get off my damn lawn!

[ SUPER: “Chrysler. Imported From Detroit” ] [ fade ]

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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