Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 37: Episode 14
Clint Eastwood Chrysler Ad
Clint Eastwood…..Bill Hader
[ open on footage from Clint Eastwood’s Chrysler ad that ran during the Super Bowl ]Clint Eastwood V/O: During the Super Bowl, I said it was halftime for America. I said Motor City’s getting back on its feet. I tried to make an inspiring ad that would rally our country. But you dummies in the media thought it was about politics!
[ cut to Clint Eastwood ]Clint Eastwood: Well, guess what?! Halftime’s over! We’re in the third quarter now, America, and we’re WAY behind! So I don’t care if Obama runs the ball, or Romney throws a touchdown, or Ron Paul kicks a field goal with his tiny little chicken legs! I’ll tell you right now, though — I ain’t putting Santorum in the game! He can stand on the sideline doing cheers in his little sweater vest! PUSSY!!
[ Eastwood glances off-camera ]Clint Eastwood: What’s this commercial for, again? Alright. Chrysler! Get a Chrysler… and get off my damn lawn!