SNL Transcripts: Zooey Deschanel: 02/11/12: Clint Eastwood Chrysler Ad

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 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 37: Episode 14








11n: Zooey Deschanel / Karmin

Clint Eastwood Chrysler Ad

Clint Eastwood…..Bill Hader

[ open on footage from Clint Eastwood’s Chrysler ad that ran during the Super Bowl ]

Clint Eastwood V/O: During the Super Bowl, I said it was halftime for America. I said Motor City’s getting back on its feet. I tried to make an inspiring ad that would rally our country. But you dummies in the media thought it was about politics!

[ cut to Clint Eastwood ]

Clint Eastwood: Well, guess what?! Halftime’s over! We’re in the third quarter now, America, and we’re WAY behind! So I don’t care if Obama runs the ball, or Romney throws a touchdown, or Ron Paul kicks a field goal with his tiny little chicken legs! I’ll tell you right now, though — I ain’t putting Santorum in the game! He can stand on the sideline doing cheers in his little sweater vest! PUSSY!!

[ Eastwood glances off-camera ]

Clint Eastwood: What’s this commercial for, again? Alright. Chrysler! Get a Chrysler… and get off my damn lawn!

[ SUPER: “Chrysler. Imported From Detroit” ]

[ fade ]

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