SNL Transcripts: Zooey Deschanel: 02/11/12: Clint Eastwood Chrysler Ad III

Saturday Night Live Transcripts

Season 37: Episode 14

Clint Eastwood Chrysler Ad III

Clint Eastwood…..Bill Hader

[ open on footage from Clint Eastwood’s Chrysler ad that ran during the Super Bowl ] [ cut to Clint Eastwood ]

Clint Eastwood: The game is over, America! It ended two hours ago! While you were bitching about my commercial, we lost to Mexico by 30 points! You like that? “Te gusta losing,” numb nuts?! Remember how the Patriots let the Giants score the winning touchdown? We’re doing that with Mexico on every single drive! Just LETTIN’ them in our end zone! Take our jobs, and drive our Chryslers! These Mexicans are like my PANTS: I’ve had them up to HERE!

[ reveal wide shot of Eastwood with his pants up to his neck ]

Clint Eastwood: Anyway… check out the new Trojan vibrating massager! It’ll blow your hair back! [ he turns his head to the side to reveal his hair blown back ] I should know… I’m Batman!

[ cut to movie graphic, with SUPER: “The Dark Knight Rises, Summer 2012” ] [ fade ]

SNL Transcripts

Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020. View all posts by Don Roy King