SNL Transcripts: Maya Rudolph: 02/18/12


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 37: Episode 15

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Air Date:


Musical Guest:

Special Guests:


Bit Players:

February 18th, 2012

Maya Rudolph

Sleigh Bells


Lorne Michaels

Paul Simon

Phil Hyms

Amy Poehler

Justin Timberlake

Bill O’Reilly

Kate Upton


New York Sports NowSummary: Dan Mardell (Bill Hader) and fellow sportscasters (Kenan Thompson, Jay Pharaoh) all have Lin-sanity for Jeremy Lin, but Joe Dickson (Taran Killam) inadvertently makes racist jokes in his desperate attempts to fit in with his co-anchors.



Maya Rudolph’s MonologueSummary: Maya Rudolph sings “Do You Wanna Funk” in regards to how much booty she got while she was a cast member.

Recurring Characters: Stefon.

Bronx Beat with Betty & JodiSummary: Betty Caruso (Amy Poehler) and Jodi Deitz (Maya Rudolph) chatter with their show’s goofball boom mike operator (Justin Timberlake) and camera guy (Andy Samberg).

Recurring Characters: Betty Caruso, Jodi Deitz.

Maya Angelou’s: I Know Why the Caged Bird Laughs!Summary: Maya Angelou (Maya Rudolph) pulls childish pranks on celebrity friends Morgan Freeman (Jay Pharoah), Dr. Cornel West (Kenan Thompson) and Stephen King (Bill Hader).

Recurring Characters: Maya Angelou, Morgan Freeman, Stephen King.

At Home with Beyonce and Jay-ZSummary: Beyonce (Maya Rudolph) and Jay-Z (Jay Pharoah) welcome celebrity guests to their home to meet new daughter Blue Ivy.

Recurring Characters: Beyonce Knowles, Jay-Z, Prince, Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt, Taylor Swift.


Sleigh Bells perform “Comeback Kid”

Weekend Update with Seth MeyersSummary: Seth Meyers and Amy Poehler ask “Really!?!” in regards to the Congressional birth control mandate debate that didn’t include any women.


What Up With That?Summary: Diondre Cole (Kenan Thompson) interrupts guests Bill O’Reilly and Lindsey Buckingham (Bill Hader) during the President’s Day Special so he can continue singing his theme song.

Recurring Characters: Diondre Cole, Lindsey Buckingham.

Super ShowcaseSummary: Game show contestant (Vanessa Bayer) loses out on a showcase, so wacky-voiced starlets Vonda (Kristen Wiig) and Shonda (Maya Rudolph) show her all the prizes she didn’t win.

The Obama ShowSummary: Michelle Obama’s (Maya Rudolph) obesity stance is presented as a “Cosby Show” spoof that finds President Barack Obama (Fred Armisen) trying to sneak a hoagie behind the First-Lady’s back.

Recurring Characters: President Barack Obama, Michelle Obama, Joe Biden, Hillary Clinton.


Sleigh Bells perform “End of the Line”

How’s He Doing?Summary: Black panelists (Jay Pharoah, Maya Rudolph) are willing to re-elect President Barack Obama no matter what offbeat scenarios are presented by the show’s host (Kenan Thompson).




Dress Rehearsal Cuts

The VoiceSummary: During her audition, a contestant (Maya Rudolph) performs in many different voices and punches one of the judges for not choosing her.

Recurring Characters: Cee-Lo Green, Christina Aguilera.

AttorneysSummary: Oversexed female attorneys (Maya Rudolph, Fred Armisen) try to seduce their make clients (Bobby Moynihan, Andy Samberg, Kenan Thompson, Jason Sudeikis).

Enchanted ForestSummary: While in the forest, Paul Giamatti (Andy Samberg) tries to engage plants and animals in conversation.

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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