Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 37: Episode 21
One-A-Day Extra Strength Nasaflu
Wife…..Kristen Wiig
Gary…..Will Ferrell
[ open on married couple sitting in bed; she is blowing her nose ]
Wife: My husband and I have been feeling a little under the weather. Por Gary has been sneezing all day. [ Gary nods ] But with four kids, a good night’s sleep is essential. That’s why we need a cold medicine that —
[ Gary breaks into a sneeze that erupts as a yell ]
Wife: [ startled ] That’s why we need a cold medicine that works… and works fast! Many leading —
[ Gary again breaks into a sneeze that erupts as a yell ]
[ she catches her breath once more ]
[ cut to exterior hallway, as she starts over with Gary still in bed ]
Wife: As I was saying… With our busy lives, we can’t wait 48 hours for symptom relief —
[ as she walks down the hall, Gary appears in an alcove and yell-sneezes once again ]
Wife: GARY!! That sneeze is OUTRAGEOUS!!
[ cut to Gary’s wife locking herself in the bathroom ]
Wife: That’s why our family always chooses the brand —
[ from the other side of the door, Gary yell-sneezes again ]
[ she thrusts the door open to reveal Gary standing there ]
Wife: You sound like a LUNATIC!! You’re just SCREAMING! It is UNREAL! Just sneeze like a NORMAL person!
[ she turns around, as Gary yell-sneezes again ]
Wife: FUCK!! Gary!! [ she turns to the camera and smiles ] We always choose the brand that has been relied on —
[ Gary yells-sneezes again, then four times more ]
Wife: [ continuing ] for years —
[ Gary yell-sneezes yet again ]
[ she turns around and bitch-slaps Gary several times ]
[ cut to Gary lying in bed, as his wife pours Nasaflu into a glass of water ]
Wife: So try new One-A-Day Extra Strength Nasaflu. And don’t get slowed down by a little sickness.
[ she drinks the medicine, but drops it all over herself when Gary yell-sneezes once more ]
[ cut to product close-up ]
Announcer: Nasaflu. For when you just —
[ the sound of Gary yell-sneezes erupts yet again, as the product flies off the nightstand ]
[ fade ]
