Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 37: Episode 22
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Air Date:Host:Musical Guest:Special Guests:Cameos:Bit Players:
May 19th, 2012
Mick Jagger
Mick Jagger
Arcade Fire
Foo Fighters
Jeff Beck
Jon Hamm
Chris Parnell
Steve Martin
Lorne Michaels
Chris Kattan
Amy Poehler
Rachel Dratch
Will Forte
None
The Lawrence Welk Show
Summary:Lawrence Welk (Fred Armisen) welcomes the Spring season with a performance by Johnny Prosciutto (Jon Hamm), musical sisters Shirley (Abby Elliott), Nancy (Nasim Pedrad), Toni (Vanessa Bayer) and tiny-handed Dooneese (Kristen Wiig).
Recurring Characters: Lawrence Welk, Dooneese, Shirley, Nancy, Toni.
Montage
Mick Jagger’s Monologue
Summary: Mick Jagger recites the frequently asked questions he receives from fans, and then provides the answer.
Transcript
Secret Word
Summary: Mindy Gracin (Kristen Wiig) once again reveals word clues while acting overtheatrical, while closeted Chaz Bragman (Mick Jagger) is very clear about his true sexual orientation.
Recurring Characters: Lyle Round, Mindy Gracin.
Karaoke
Summary: At a karaoke bar, uptight insurance man Kevin Miller (Mick Jagger) can’t comprehend his co-workers’ inaccurate performances as Mick Jagger.
An SNL Digital Short
Summary: Andy Samberg and Chris Parnell rap about having mimosas for lunch and going to see “Sister Act” on Broadway, as they enjoy a “Lazy Sunday 2”.
Transcript
Politics Nation
Summary: Gaffe-prone Al Sharpton (Kenan Thompson) attempts to discuss Wall Street’s effect on the economy by discussing jobs with J.P. Morgan spokesman Colin McKechnie (Mick Jagger), Mayor Mike Bloomberg (Fred Armisen) and a cannery worker (Jason Sudeikis).
Recurring Characters: Al Sharpton, Mike Bloomberg.
Note: This sketch was cut from the Dress Rehearsal of last week’s episode hosted by Will Ferrell.
Mick Jagger with Arcade Fire performs “The Last Time”
Lyrics
Weekend Update with Seth Meyers
Summary: City corresponent Stefon (Bill Hader) lists more inappropriate travel destinations for families planning to visit New York City over the summer.
Recurring Characters: Stefon.
So You Think You Can Dance At An Outdoor Music Festival
Summary: Dave Matthews (Bill Hader) hosts a competition to see who can perform the best dance moves while at an outdoor music festival.
Recurring Characters: Dave Matthews, Carlos Santana, Jewel, Steven Tyler.
Mick Jagger with Foo Fighters performs “19th Nervous Breakdown” and “It’s Only Rock ‘n Roll”
Lyrics
The Californians
Summary: Stuart (Fred Armisen) and his Californian clan continue to speak in overexaggerated valley accents and provide driving directions within every conservation, as hidden family secrets are revealed.
Recurring Characters: Devon, Corina, Stuart, Trey, Maid.
Mick Jagger and Jeff Beck perform “Tea Party”
Lyrics
She’s a Rainbow / Goodnights
Summary: 7-year student Kristen Wiig graduates from SNL’s Class of 2012 and dances with her fellow cast members.
Transcript
Dress Rehearsal Cuts
