SNL Transcripts: Seth MacFarlane: 09/15/12: Wooden Spoon Warehouse

 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 38: Episode 1

12a: Seth MacFarlane / Frank Ocean

Wooden Spoon Warehouse

Ezekiel Yoder…..Seth MacFarlane
Elijah Yoder…..Tim Robinson

[ open on Ezekiel and Elijah Yoder holding wooden spoons ]

Elijah Yoder: I’m Elijah Yoder.

Ezekiel Yoder: And I’m Ezekiel Yoder.

Elijah Yoder: Our family has been making and trading wooden spoons for over 100 summers!

Ezekiel Yoder: And now, thanks to a conversation my brother had with a fast-talking concrete-dwellin’ man, you can now purchase our wooden spoons on something called… Internet.

Elijah Yoder: To see our wooden spoons, just select these symbols on your light box!

[ they hold up the web address “www.woodenspoonwarehouse.com” on a sign ]

Ezekiel Yoder: Double valley, Double valley, Double valley. Time freckle. Double valley, Owl’s eyes, Stringless harp, Broken ladder, Hurt snake, Fine snake, Fat snake, Owl’s eyes, Hurt snake, Double valley, Lean-to, Fat snake with a sex penis, Broken ladder, Horse bridge, Child’s toy, Bull scrotum, The river what took my son… [ he bows his head ] The three-fingered man dot com.

[ fade ]

SNL Transcripts

Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020. View all posts by Don Roy King