Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 38: Episode 2
Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s Monologue
Audience Member #1…..Aidy Bryant
Audience Member #2…..Kenan Thompson
Audience Member #3…..Cecily Strong
Audience Member #4…..Nasim Pedrad
Dancer #1…..Jay Pharoah
Dancer #2…..Taran Killam
Dancer #3…..Bobby Moynihan
Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen — Joseph Gordon-Levitt!
Joseph Gordon-Levitt: It is so great to be here, back hosting Saturday Night Live! You know, this year has been so amazing! Ive been lucky to be in some great movies….. I have the movie Looper coming out. In that movie, I play a young version of Bruce Willis — so I guess I play Ashton Kutcher. I was also in The Dark Knight Rises.
But, you know what my favorite superhero movie of the summer was? Magic Mike — Im serious, my friend Channing Tatum was so great in that. You know what my favorite part of Magic Mike was? This part!
[ Joseph rips of his suit and is now draped in only a vest, trousers, and fedora. The Weather Girls Its Raining Men starts playing. AUDIENCE MEMBERS 1-3 are in glee. Joseph gyrates his pelvis while twirling an umbrella. He then proceeds to do push-ups and removes his fedora. ]
[ ENTER DANCERS 1-3. All are dressed in the same manner as Joseph. Everyone removes their vest to show their bare chest except Bobby, whos wearing a smaller vest underneath his previous vest. ]
[ Joseph notices a FOURTH AUIDENCE MEMBER and makes his way over to her. Hes holding a Cosmopolitan drink and excited to see him. Joseph grinds her face into her crotch so hard she spills her drink. ]
[ Bobby hands Joseph a confetti cannon and he fires it into the audience. ]
Joseph Gordon-Levitt: We got a great show tonight! Mumford and Sons are here! Stick around, well be right back!
Submitted by: Cody Downs