SNL Transcripts: Joseph Gordon-Levitt: 09/22/12: Tres Equis II



 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 38: Episode 2







12b: Joseph Gordon-Levitt / Mumford and Sons

Tres Equis II

Son of the Most Interesting Man in the World…..Joseph Gordon-Levitt
Companion…..Kate McKinnon
The Most Interesting Man in the World…..Jason Sudeikis

(The Son of the Most Interesting Man in the World practices Martial arts [poorly] in front of the Mirror.)

Announcer: He’s got a white belt in Judo, and Tae Kwon Do.

(In Bed, he reads “The Firm”)

He has a first edition…of every John Grisham Novel.

(Sitting in a Cafe, he writes ” -2.00″ in the tip line and hands it to his server.)

When he tips, he puts a negative amount, and says it’s Cashback.

(He sits in bed, strumming a guitar with two other guitars visable in the frame.)

He has multiple parody Twitter accounts.

(An account pops up under the name “Dildo Baggins.”)

And he can almost do a 180 on his Razor Scooter

(He tries and fails to achieve this.)

(He sits at a bar, with a Tres Equis beer, next to a very bored looking blonde companion.)

Son of the Most Interesting Man in the World: I am not only the Son of the Most Interesting Man in the World…I AM the most Interesting-

(His father, the Most Interesting Man in the World, storms in angrily.)

The Most Interesting Man in the World: WHAT THE HELL? What in the Hell is this? Are you kidding me? Is this really happening?

Son of the Most Interesting Man in the World: Get out of here, Dad! I’m doing a beer ad.

The Most Interesting Man in the World: Really? What, and who is this? One of your Prostitutes?

Son of the Most Interesting Man in the World: So?

The Most Interesting Man in the World: So? Who is paying for her?

Companion: He said you are.

The Most Interesting Man in the World: Oh, did he?

Son of the Most Interesting Man in the World: I didn’t say that! I never said that!

The Most Interesting Man in the World: THIRTY YEARS OLD! Son, you are thirty years old!

Son of the Most Interesting Man in the World: You should be proud of me! I’m an entrepreneur!

The Most Interesting Man in the World: Oh, he’s an entrepreneur! Like how you managed those rappers?

Son of the Most Interesting Man in the World: Those are my friends!

The Most Interesting Man in the World: THEY STOLE FROM YOU! (Noticing the bottle) And what is this? “Tres Equies?!”

Son of the Most Interesting Man in the World: Yes!

The Most Interesting Man in the World: “Tres Equies!” I could get sued for this! (He hurles the bottle off-screen, where it shatters) YOU SON OF A BITCH!

Son of the Most Interesting Man in the World: I HAVE NO INCOME!

The Most Interesting Man in the World: Get out of my house! Get out of my basement! You-

Son of the Most Interesting Man in the World: (Suddenly snapping) ONE SWIM MEET! YOU COULDN’T COME TO JUST ONE OF MY SWIM MEETS!

The Most Interesting Man in the World: Oh, Swim Meet? (To the Camera) He didn’t even make the team! You Pussy! You swam two laps, and then you puked like a dog! They had to drain the pool!

Son of the Most Interesting Man in the World: (Storming off) I’m telling Mom!

The Most Interesting Man in the World: Oh, well good luck figuring out who the FUCK she is!

Announcer: (over a shot of the beer) Tres Equis. Spanish for Excellence.

(The Most Interesting Man In the World takes a sip, then spits it out.)

The Most Interesting Man in the World: This tastes like shit.

Submitted by: Ted Zoldan

SNL Transcripts

Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

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