SNL Transcripts: Christina Applegate: 10/13/12


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 38: Episode 4

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Air Date:


Musical Guest:

Special Guests:


Bit Players:

October 13th, 2012

Christina Applegate

Passion Pit


Usain Bolt


Vice Presidential DebateSummary: Martha Raddatz (Kate McKinnon) moderates a debate between an interruptive Joseph Biden (Jason Sudeikis) and an extremely thirsty Paul Ryan (Taran Killam).

Recurring Characters: Joseph Biden, Paul Ryan.



Christina Applegate’s MonologueSummary: With a little help from Muppets knock-offs The Fruppets, Christina Applegate sings about this last burst of mundane, quiet time before Halloween and an endless slew of Autumn/Winter holidays begins.

Recurring Characters: Dane Cook.


Recurring Characters: Andre 3000.

The CaliforniansSummary: Abandoned by his wife, Stuart (Fred Armisen) prepares to wed a new bride (Christina Applegate) as his Californian clan speak in overexaggerated valley accents and provide driving directions within every conservation.

Recurring Characters: Stuart, Devin, Trey, Maid.

Tech TalkSummary: Online technology critics (Bill Hader, Kate McKinnon, Kenan Thompson) give harsh reviews of the Apple iPhone 5, until they come face-to-face with the sweatshops workers (Fred Armisen, Nasim Pedrad, Cecily Strong) who design them.


Give Us All Our Daughters Back!Summary:

Recurring Characters: Denzel Washington, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Mel Gibson, Steven Seagal, Liam Neeson.

Passion Pit performs “Take a Walk”

Weekend Update with Seth MeyersSummary: Arianna Huffington (Nasim Pedrad). Jean K. Jean (Kenan Thompson).

Recurring Characters: Arianna Huffington, Jean K. Jean.

The SirensSummary: Odysseus (Jason Sudeikis) insists that his crew tie him up so that he doesn’t crash his ship into the rocks while listening to the haunting 1990’s musical selections of the Sirens (Christina Applegate, Kate McKinnon, Cecily Strong).

Halloween BallSummary:

Recurring Characters: Principal Frye, Steve Kane.

Passion Pit performs “Carried Away”

Dance StudioSummary: Jillian Chizz (Christina Applegate).


Dress Rehearsal Cuts

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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