SNL Transcripts: Bruno Mars: 10/20/12


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 38: Episode 5

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Air Date:


Musical Guest:

Special Guests:


Bit Players:

October 20th, 2012

Bruno Mars

Bruno Mars


Tom Hanks


Second Presidential DebateSummary: Candy Crowley (Aidy Bryant) moderates a debate between President Barack Obama (Jay Pharoah) and Mott Romney (Jason Sudeikis) that quickly turns into a confrontational pissing contest

Recurring Characters: President Barack Obama, Mitt Tomney, Tagg Romney.



Bruno Mars’ MonologueSummary: Bruno Mars quells concerns about his hosting abilities by singing a song.

Chanel No. 5Summary: Brad Pitt (Taran Killam) makes a rambling endorsement for Chanel No. 5.

Recurring Characters: Brad Pitt.


HatersSummary: Sunny Taylor Tompkins (Cecily Strong) introduces deadbeat guests that her audience love to hate on no matter what.

Taco BellSummary: Brad Pitt (Taran Killam) makes a rambling endorsement for Taco Bell.

Recurring Characters: Brad Pitt.

Pandora Internet RadioSummary: When various station feeds falter, it’s up to intern Devin (Bruno Mars) to perform live imitations of various singers.

Sad MouseSummary: Dejected after a couple of personal tragedies, Mark (Bruno Mars) tries to deliver happiness while standing on the city streets dressed as a large mouse.


Bruno Mars performs “Locked Out Of Heaven”

Weekend Update with Seth MeyersSummary: Seth Meyers offer up his list of Debate Dos & Don’ts. Stefon (Bill Hader) outlines the hottest places to celebrate Halloween in New York City.

Recurring Characters: Stefon.


Merryville Haunted CastleSummary:

Recurring Characters:


Franklin’s Dog CondomsSummary: Brad Pitt (Taran Killam) makes a rambling endorsement for Franklin’s Dog Condoms.

Recurring Characters: Brad Pitt.

Yeti PointSummary: Lodge clerk (Bruno Mars) warns Mr. (Jason Sudeikis) and Mrs. Johnson (Vanessa Bayer) to beware the yeti who roams the woods.

Jonathan Zizmor M.D.Summary: Brad Pitt (Taran Killam) makes a rambling endorsement for Jonathan Zizmor M.D.

Recurring Characters: Brad Pitt.

Bruno Mars performs “Young Girls”

Donkey Punch The Ballot!Summary: DJ Supersoak (Jason Sudeikis) and Lil’ Blaster (Nasim Pedrad) promote the Election Day festival that features wild bands and a Fake Hawaiian ID booth.

Recurring Characters: DJ Super Soak, Lil Blaster, MC George Castanza, Ass Dan, Ruth Bader Ginsburg.



Dress Rehearsal Cuts

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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