SNL Transcripts: Bruno Mars: 10/20/12: Chanel No. 5


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 38: Episode 5

12e: Bruno Mars

Chanel No. 5

Brad Pitt…..Taran Killam

[ card: “Brad Pitt. Pour. Chanel.” ] [ cut to Brad Pitt, in black-and-white ]

Brad Pitt: It’s not a journey. Every journey ends, but we go on. The world turns, and we turn with it. Plans disappear, and dreams take over. And then dreams wake up and smile at realty… [ he shakes his head ] I’m sorry, is there really no script? ‘Cause I’ve been talking to myself for, like, two hours straight and I’m starting to sound insane. [ he glances off-screen ] What? You want me to sound less coherent? Really? [ he slaps his side ] Okay, uh… I can just start making up words. You like that? Alright. [ he sighs ] “Splindiferous.” Yeah? [ he thinks ] “Magnificous.” “Pintalicious.” Okay, okay, I’m sorry — is it just me, or do I look SUPER homeless? That’s what you want? Rock and roll!

[ dissolve to product, in color ]

Brad Pitt V/O: Chanel No. 5.

[ return to Brad Pitt, in black-and-white ]

Brad Pitt: You’d understand it, buh!

[ fade ]

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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