SNL Transcripts: Anne Hathaway: 11/10/12: The Legend of Mokiki and the Sloppy Swish

 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 38: Episode 7

12g: Anne Hathaway / Rihanna

The Legend of Mokiki and the Sloppy Swish

Narrator…..Kenan Thompson
Mokiki…..Taran KIllam
Girl…..Anne Hathaway

[ SUPER: “The Legend of Mokiki and the Sloppy Swish” ] [ cut to Narrator standing atop the city ]

Narrator: The island of Manhattan! full of life AND history! And mystery!

[ bouncy music starts to play ]

Narrator: [ singing ]“There’s legend in this city and this legend is a man
Who he is and where he comes from, it is hard to understand.
He’s a creature like no other and his name is Mokiki
He wanders cross the island doing just one thing:”

[ cut to Mokiki standing in the street ]

Narrator: [ singing ] “Mokiki does the Sloppy Swish.”

[ in the street, Mokiki does his Sloppy Swish as unsuspecting pedestrians watch with great confusion ]

Narrator:
“Look at him MOVE!Mokiki does the Sloppy Swish!”

[ a girl passes Mokiki in the subway and watches him with great awe ]

Narrator:
“He’ll hypnotize you!”

[ spirals surround her and appear in her eyes ]

Narrator: [ singing ]“Mokiki roams the street, he appears without a sound
He does his Sloppy Swish, ???
What is the Sloppy Swish? It’s a move that is outrageous
You try it, you may like it, because it is CONTAGIOUS!

[ the girl spies on Mokiki from behind a brick wall ] [ Mokiki intrudes on other people in the streert and in the park ]

Narrator: [ singing ]“Mokiki does the Sloppy Swish
He does not respect personal space!
Mokiki does the Sloppy Swish
He’s most likely carrying diseases!

Some say he comes from Norway, some say he is a spirit
His police report will tell the truth, if you wish to hear it.
His real name’s Thomas Furke, used to be a lab test dummy
Submitting to experiments to make a little money.
He lives in a wine bottle submarine, and his best friend is a glove
But one question that I have: Can Mokiki fall in love?”

[ the girl sits next to Mokiki at a park bench ]

Girl: Forgive this intrusion, but… I think you’re magnificent. Tell me your secrets, please? You can trust me.

[ Mokiki leans over as if to kiss her, but instead spews green liquid at her face ]

Narrator: [ singing ]“Mokiki does the Sloppy Swish
His venom’s a side effect from his experiments!
Mokiki does the Sloppy Swish
It makes his dance LITERALLY contagious!”

[ the girl transforms into a female Mokiki look-alike ]

Narrator: [ singing ]“Mokiki does the Sloppy Swish
Everybdoy’s doing it!
Mokiki does the Sloppy Swish
They’re starting a family!

It’s a really stupid dance… created by a crazy person.”

[ the baby rises on the screen and spews green liquid at the camera ] [ fade ]

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