Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 38: Episode 7
Anne Hathaway’s Monologue
…..Anne Hathaway
…..Jason Sudeikis
…..cast of “Saturday Night Live”
Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen — Anne Hathaway!
Anne Hathaway: Thank you! Thank you! Thank you so much! Thank you! Oh, my goodness, I am SO excited to be hosting “SNL” — for the THIRD time! Oh, man! I gotta say that nothing compaeres to a week at “SNL”. We are here for six long days. We’re just writing and rehearsing… and then it’s DONE. Which is kind of different from the five months I spent rehearsing and filming “Les Mis”. So, it —
[ Jason Sudeikis appears onstage, as the audience cheers ]Jason Sudeikis: You’re right! You’re right, Anne! “SNL” is a wild ride!
Anne Hathaway: [ laughing ] Jason! Your clothes are so puffy!
Jason Sudeikis: You know, Anne… you learn something after you’ve been here for EIGHT seasons — two as a writer! — and that is to CHERISH your Sundays! Monday is right around the corner! But that just makes Sunday aaaaallll the sweeter! Oh! That sweet, SWEET Sunday!
[ music pots up ]Anne Hathaway: Wait… what’s happening?
Jason Sudeikis: [ singing ]“One day more!”
Anne Hathaway: Oh, I know what’s happening.
Jason Sudeikis: [ singing ]“Tonight, we’ll do our jobs and do them well
But then, tomorrow, we’ll be chill as hell!
Tonight, we’ll do our funny act
But Sunday, we’ll be kicking back
One day morrrrrrrre!”
Taran Killam: [ singing ]“Cannot wait until Sundayyyyyyy
I’ll sleep ’til noon and then, make chili.”
Jason Sudeikis: [ singing ]“One day morrrrre!”
Taran Killam & Cecily Strong: [ singing ]“Tomorrow, we’ll see “Wreck-it Ralph”
And then, we’ll stuff our face with… chili.”
Anne Hathaway: [ singing ]“One more day ’til I go hooooooome!”
Taran Killam & Cecily Strong: [ singing ]“Will we ever meet again?”
Anne Hathaway: [ singing ]“One more day dealing with Jason!”
Jason Sudeikis: [ singing ]“I was — ” Wait! What do you mean? Did I do something…?
Anne Hathaway: [ singing ]“What a how I could have donnnnne!If they’d let me play Stefooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnn!”
[ Kenan Thompson appears ]Kenan Thompson: [ singing ]“One more day before I voooooooote!”
Anne Hathaway: Wait! Kenan, you didn’t vote?
Kenan Thompson: [ singing ]“This will beeee a great electionnnnnnnn!”
Anne Hathaway: No, man, it’s over! It was Tuesday!
Kenan Thompson: [ singing ]“I think I’ll vote for Ron Pauuuuuuuuulllll!”
Anne Hathaway: [ looking off-screen ] Wait, does he seriously not know?!
Kenan Thompson: [ singing ]“Or I’ll write in… Chhaka Khaaaaaaaaannnnn!”
Jason Sudeikis: [ singing ]“One day morrrre!”
Tim Robinson & Aidy Bryant: [ singing ]“Sunday’s not that long!
The second day is true!
We’re not in the show that much ’cause we are new!”
Taran Killam: [ singing ]“Sunday’s! The day! We all… have… seeeeeeeexxxxx!!”
Jason Sudeikis: [ singing ]“One day morrrrrrrrrrre!!”
[ the rest of the cast appears ]All: [ singing ]“One day until it’s Sundaaaaayyyyyyyy!!
One more day until it’s Sunday!
Tomorrow we’ll discover what our one-day weekend has in storrrrrrrre!
One… more… dawwwwwwwwnn!!
One more dayyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!
One day morrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrre!!!!!!”
Anne Hathaway: We’ve got a GREAT show for you tonight! Rihanna is here! So stick around, we’ll be right back!
