SNL Transcripts: Anne Hathaway: 11/10/12: Anne Hathaway’s Monologue

 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 38: Episode 7

12g: Anne Hathaway / Rihanna

Anne Hathaway’s Monologue

…..Anne Hathaway
…..Jason Sudeikis
…..cast of “Saturday Night Live”

Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen — Anne Hathaway!

Anne Hathaway: Thank you! Thank you! Thank you so much! Thank you! Oh, my goodness, I am SO excited to be hosting “SNL” — for the THIRD time! Oh, man! I gotta say that nothing compaeres to a week at “SNL”. We are here for six long days. We’re just writing and rehearsing… and then it’s DONE. Which is kind of different from the five months I spent rehearsing and filming “Les Mis”. So, it —

[ Jason Sudeikis appears onstage, as the audience cheers ]

Jason Sudeikis: You’re right! You’re right, Anne! “SNL” is a wild ride!

Anne Hathaway: [ laughing ] Jason! Your clothes are so puffy!

Jason Sudeikis: You know, Anne… you learn something after you’ve been here for EIGHT seasons — two as a writer! — and that is to CHERISH your Sundays! Monday is right around the corner! But that just makes Sunday aaaaallll the sweeter! Oh! That sweet, SWEET Sunday!

[ music pots up ]

Anne Hathaway: Wait… what’s happening?

Jason Sudeikis: [ singing ]“One day more!”

Anne Hathaway: Oh, I know what’s happening.

Jason Sudeikis: [ singing ]“Tonight, we’ll do our jobs and do them well
But then, tomorrow, we’ll be chill as hell!
Tonight, we’ll do our funny act
But Sunday, we’ll be kicking back
One day morrrrrrrre!”

[ Taran Killam and Cecily Strong appear ]

Taran Killam: [ singing ]“Cannot wait until Sundayyyyyyy
I’ll sleep ’til noon and then, make chili.”

Jason Sudeikis: [ singing ]“One day morrrrre!”

Taran Killam & Cecily Strong: [ singing ]“Tomorrow, we’ll see “Wreck-it Ralph”
And then, we’ll stuff our face with… chili.”

Anne Hathaway: [ singing ]“One more day ’til I go hooooooome!”

Taran Killam & Cecily Strong: [ singing ]“Will we ever meet again?”

Anne Hathaway: [ singing ]“One more day dealing with Jason!”

Jason Sudeikis: [ singing ]“I was — ” Wait! What do you mean? Did I do something…?

Anne Hathaway: [ singing ]“What a how I could have donnnnne!If they’d let me play Stefooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnn!”

[ Kenan Thompson appears ]

Kenan Thompson: [ singing ]“One more day before I voooooooote!”

Anne Hathaway: Wait! Kenan, you didn’t vote?

Kenan Thompson: [ singing ]“This will beeee a great electionnnnnnnn!”

Anne Hathaway: No, man, it’s over! It was Tuesday!

Kenan Thompson: [ singing ]“I think I’ll vote for Ron Pauuuuuuuuulllll!”

Anne Hathaway: [ looking off-screen ] Wait, does he seriously not know?!

Kenan Thompson: [ singing ]“Or I’ll write in… Chhaka Khaaaaaaaaannnnn!”

Jason Sudeikis: [ singing ]“One day morrrre!”

[ Tim Robinson and Aidy Bryant appear ]

Tim Robinson & Aidy Bryant: [ singing ]“Sunday’s not that long!
The second day is true!
We’re not in the show that much ’cause we are new!”

Taran Killam: [ singing ]“Sunday’s! The day! We all… have… seeeeeeeexxxxx!!”

Jason Sudeikis: [ singing ]“One day morrrrrrrrrrre!!”

[ the rest of the cast appears ]

All: [ singing ]“One day until it’s Sundaaaaayyyyyyyy!!
One more day until it’s Sunday!
Tomorrow we’ll discover what our one-day weekend has in storrrrrrrre!
One… more… dawwwwwwwwnn!!
One more dayyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!
One day morrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrre!!!!!!”

Anne Hathaway: We’ve got a GREAT show for you tonight! Rihanna is here! So stick around, we’ll be right back!

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