Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 38: Episode 8
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Air Date:Host:Musical Guest:Special Guests:Cameos:Bit Players:
November 17th, 2012
Jeremy Renner
Maroon 5
None
Gov. Chris Christie
None
Booknotes
Summary: At a book club, Paula Broadwell (Cecily Strong) reads spicy passages from All In”, her personal biography of General David Petraeus.
Montage
Jeremy Renner’s Monologue
Summary: Aspiring songwriter Jeremy Renner sings the rejected theme songs he wrote for each of his movies.
Your Hometown
Summary: Grown man (Taran Killam) makes the most of a visit to his hometown while staying in his parents’ (Bill Hader, Aidy Bryant) house.
Transcript
The Californians
Summary: Stuart’s (Fred Armisen) family Thanksgiving dinner reveals an illegitimate child among overexaggerated valley accents and driving directions within every conservation.
Recurring Characters: Stuart, Devin, Trey, Maid.
The Situation Room
Summary: Wolf Blitzer (Jason Sudeikis) attempts to uncover the identity of socialite Jill Kelley while interviewing the supposed Mayor of Tampa, Florida (Jeremy Renner) and repeatedly playing footage of Kelley walking to her car.
Recurring Characters: Wolf Blitzer.
The Stand Off
Summary: Three determined gangsters (Taram Killam, Jeremy Renner, Bobby Moynihan) keep their guns pointed at one another throughout a series of unusual circumstances.
Transcript
Maroon 5 performs “One More Night”
Weekend Update with Seth Meyers
Summary: Seth Meyers reviews the Winners/Losers of the General Petraeus sex scandal. Comedian Katt Williams (Jay Pharoah) addresses his recent string of controversies. Governor Chris Christie gives a status report on recovery efforts in New Jersey following Hurricane Sandy.
The Avengers
Summary: While avenging a crime spree, Hawkeye (Jeremy Renner) takes a lot of flak from his fellow superheroes for running out of arrows.
Movie Set
Summary: While filming a tense dramatic scene, action star Dick Fuel (Jason Sudeikis) flinches whenever Jeremy Renner is about to slap him.
Maroon 5 performs “Daylight”
Midnight Snack
Summary: In an animated film by Zach Kakin and Rob Klein, the “Cool Drones” fight terrorism by day and perform as a boy band by night.
Coroner’s Office
Summary: Mr. Calendar (Jeremy Renner) can’t follow the concept behind identifying whether or not a dead body is that of his brother (Taran Killam).
Transcript
Goodnights
Transcript
Dress Rehearsal Cuts
Thanksgiving
Summary:
