Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 38: Episode 12
January 26th, 2013
Inauguration NightSummary: In the hours following his re-election Inauguration, President Barack Obama (Jay Pharoah) is ivisted by the Ghost of Martin Luther King, Jr. (Kenan Thompson).
Recurring Characters: President Barack Obama, Martin Luther King, Jr.
Adam Levine’s MonologueSummary: Because he comes from a musical background and hasn’t really acted, Adam Levine receives “Voice”-style coaching from Andy Samberg, Cameron Diaz, and Jerry Seinfeld.
Rosetta StoneSummary: The online language-learning course for creepy middle-aged men (Bill Hader, Bobby Moynihan, Taran Killam) who desire to travel to Thailand in search of loose Oriental women.
Circle WorkSummary: Tracy Allstar (Kenan Thompson) and Todd Anthony (Adam Levine) offer gay solutions to the problems offered by their heterosexual guests.
The Sopranos DiariesSummary: Taking a cue from the new “Sex in the City” prequel series, Tony Soprano (Bobby Moynihan) and his fellow goombahs rule the halls of their high school in the 1980’s.
Firehouse IncidentSummary: Brice (Bill Hader) goes berserk when he spots fellow firefighter Jerry (Adam Levine) chatting with his ex-girlfriend Rula (Nasim Pedrad) at a firehouse fundraiser.
An SNL Digital ShortSummary: Adam Levine and The Lonely Island sing “YOLO”, as demonstration of the strange things they’re willing to do in order to prove that “You Only Live Once”.
Kendrick Lamar performs “Swimming Pools”
Weekend Update with Seth MeyersSummary: Arianna Huffington (Nasim Pedrad) comments on Hillary Clinton and other women in politics. Ready-to-retire Ray Lewis (Kenan Thompson) rambles about his final game in this year’s Super Bowl.
Recurring Characters: Arianna Huffington, Ray Lewis.
RumbleSummary: Adam Levine organizes a bar rumble against fellow mellow musicians Train (Taran Killam), Jason Mraz (Jason Sudeikis) and John Mayer (Bill Hader).
Recurring Characters: John Mayer, Jason Mraz, Darius Rucker.
Catfish: The TV ShowSummary: Yaniv “Nev” Schulman (Adam Levine) helps Jaz (Aidy Bryant) determine whether or not her online boyfriend (Jay Pharoah) is the real deal.
Kendrick Lamar performs “Poetic Justice”
Adam and JanetSummary: Janet Peckinpaugh (Bobby Moynihan) is ready for a night of sweet romance with Adam Levine in her Murphy bed.
Recurring Characters: Janet Peckinpaugh.
Biden BashSummary: Forget the boring pageantry of Barack Obama’s inauguration — the real party is taking place in Delaware with Joe Biden (Jason Sudeikis), a Neil Diamond impersonator contestant (Adam Levine), and a bouncy castle.
Recurring Characters: Joseph Biden.
Dress Rehearsal Cuts