SNL Transcripts: Adam Levine: 01/26/13: Inauguration Night



 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 38: Episode 12










12l: Adam Levine / Kendrick Lamar

Inauguration Night

Aide…..Taran Killam
President Barack Obama…..Jay Pharoah
Ghost of Martin Luther King, Jr…..Kenan Thompson

[ open on exterior, White House, Inauguration Night ] [ dissolve to President Barack Obama relaxing in front of the fireplace, as Aide hands him a tall flask of beer ]

Aide: Can I get you anything else, Mr. President?

President Barack Obama: Uh, no, I’m fine. Thank you for everything.

Aide: Well, good night, Mr. President, and congratulations again. That was very moving, having your Inauguration fall on Martin Luther King Day.

President Barack Obama: Uhhh, yes, uh… that was, uh, that was pretty special.

[ Aide exits, as Obama sips his beer ]

President Barack Obama: [ toasting himself ] To four more years!

[ the clock chimes, as a huge puff of smoke appears ]

Voice: Barack! Barack Obama!

[ the Ghost of Martin Luther King, Jr. steps forward ]

Ghost of Martin Luther KIng, Jr.: It is I, the Reverand Martin Luther King, Jr.! And I have come to visit with you, on the night of this historic Inauguration!

President Barack Obama: This is incredible! Dr. King, there’s so much I want to discuss with you!

Ghost of Martin Luther KIng, Jr.: And I with you, Barack! Please, have a seat.

[ they lean back in their chairs ]

President Barack Obama: So, uh… tell me, Dr. King, uh — Have I lived up to the promise in your legacy? Are we on the right track for our nation?

Ghost of Martin Luther KIng, Jr.: Oh, we’ll get to all that, Barack. We’ll get to that. But, uh, first things first — Did you, uh… did you see that girl Beyonce?

President Barack Obama: Uh, excuse me?

Ghost of Martin Luther KIng, Jr.: That girl Beyonce! Did you see her out there? ‘Cause I was like, [ high-pitched ] “Whaaaaaattt?!”

President Barack Obama: Well, Beyonce… well, yes, Sir, she’s a very beautiful woman.

Ghost of Martin Luther KIng, Jr.: Beautiful?! [ he chuckles ] Raquel Welch was “beautiful”. Beyonce is like, “Daaaaaamnnn!!” I had to keep pinching myself — I thought I was having another one of my “famous” dreams!

President Barack Obama: Dr. King, she was there to sing our National Anthem.

Ghost of Martin Luther KIng, Jr.: Was she, though? “Access Hollywood” would beg to differ.

President Barack Obama: “Access Hollywood”?

Martin Luther King, Jr.: Yeahhhhh, they said she was lip-synching! And I was like, “And I care, why? #JayZis1LuckyMan!””

President Barack Obama: Dr. King, uhhhh… can we please discuss MORE important issues? Uhhhhh… there are very real changes facing this nation!

Ghost of Martin Luther KIng, Jr.: Yeah, yeah, yeah. And, speaking of change — What’s up with Michelle’s bangs?

President Barack Obama: I’m sorry?

Ghost of Martin Luther KIng, Jr.: Her baaaaaaaangs!! What, is she guest-starring on “The New Girl”? [ he chuckles to himself ] When she finally gets those bangs cut, she’s gonna be like, “I can see at last! THank God Almighty, I can see at last!!”

President Barack Obama: [ outraged ] Dr. King!!

Ghost of Martin Luther KIng, Jr.: Ohhhhh, really?! Come on! Relax! I’m joking around! Can’t we just be two guys talking real for a second? Why do I have to be serious and stately for all of eternity? And, besides — Today is my day off! [ he laughs ] You get it? Martin Luther King Day!

[ Aide knocks and re-enters the room ]

Aide: Uh, Mr. President? Is everything okay in here? I heard voices.

President Barack Obama: [ nervously ] Uh, uh, uh, yeah. I was just thinking out loud. I’m good.

[ Aide exits ]

Ghost of Martin Luther KIng, Jr.: [ annoyed ] Man, WHY you making rxcuses to him?! Just be like, “I’m the first Black president! Shut the Hell up and go to sleep!”

President Barack Obama: Dr. King, do you have any serious advice for me?

Ghost of Martin Luther KIng, Jr.: Oh, yes, I do! Yes, I do! You’re doing a good job, Barack. I’m proud of you. But, there’s still work to do. You’re he first Black president, but we’re STILL waiting for our first Black magician… There hasn’t been a Black King of England… and, uh, it is 2013 and there’s still not a single Black child in the band One Direction.

President Barack Obama: I mean, do you think there are any that want to be?

Ghost of Martin Luther KIng, Jr.: Probably not. Probably not, no. But, tonight, enjoy yourself! You have EARNED it.

President Barack Obama: Thank you, Dr. King. [ he extends his hand ]

Ghost of Martin Luther KIng, Jr.: You’re welcome. [ he stands ] And, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve gotta go visit Cornel West and tell him to TAKE IT DOWN about 30 notches. So, uh…

President Barack Obama: Here we go.

Ghost of Martin Luther KIng, Jr.: You want to do this together?

President Barack Obama: Uh…

Ghost of Martin Luther KIng, Jr.: I mean, it’s not every day they let a Black GHOST open the show!

President Barack Obama: Okay, uh… well, let’s do it!

Together: “LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT’S SATURDAY NIGHT!!”

SNL Transcripts

Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

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