SNL Transcripts: Adam Levine: 01/26/13: Inauguration Night

 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 38: Episode 12

12l: Adam Levine / Kendrick Lamar

Inauguration Night

Aide…..Taran Killam
President Barack Obama…..Jay Pharoah
Ghost of Martin Luther King, Jr…..Kenan Thompson

[ open on exterior, White House, Inauguration Night ] [ dissolve to President Barack Obama relaxing in front of the fireplace, as Aide hands him a tall flask of beer ]

Aide: Can I get you anything else, Mr. President?

President Barack Obama: Uh, no, I’m fine. Thank you for everything.

Aide: Well, good night, Mr. President, and congratulations again. That was very moving, having your Inauguration fall on Martin Luther King Day.

President Barack Obama: Uhhh, yes, uh… that was, uh, that was pretty special.

[ Aide exits, as Obama sips his beer ]

President Barack Obama: [ toasting himself ] To four more years!

[ the clock chimes, as a huge puff of smoke appears ]

Voice: Barack! Barack Obama!

[ the Ghost of Martin Luther King, Jr. steps forward ]

Ghost of Martin Luther KIng, Jr.: It is I, the Reverand Martin Luther King, Jr.! And I have come to visit with you, on the night of this historic Inauguration!

President Barack Obama: This is incredible! Dr. King, there’s so much I want to discuss with you!

Ghost of Martin Luther KIng, Jr.: And I with you, Barack! Please, have a seat.

[ they lean back in their chairs ]

President Barack Obama: So, uh… tell me, Dr. King, uh — Have I lived up to the promise in your legacy? Are we on the right track for our nation?

Ghost of Martin Luther KIng, Jr.: Oh, we’ll get to all that, Barack. We’ll get to that. But, uh, first things first — Did you, uh… did you see that girl Beyonce?

President Barack Obama: Uh, excuse me?

Ghost of Martin Luther KIng, Jr.: That girl Beyonce! Did you see her out there? ‘Cause I was like, [ high-pitched ] “Whaaaaaattt?!”

President Barack Obama: Well, Beyonce… well, yes, Sir, she’s a very beautiful woman.

Ghost of Martin Luther KIng, Jr.: Beautiful?! [ he chuckles ] Raquel Welch was “beautiful”. Beyonce is like, “Daaaaaamnnn!!” I had to keep pinching myself — I thought I was having another one of my “famous” dreams!

President Barack Obama: Dr. King, she was there to sing our National Anthem.

Ghost of Martin Luther KIng, Jr.: Was she, though? “Access Hollywood” would beg to differ.

President Barack Obama: “Access Hollywood”?

Martin Luther King, Jr.: Yeahhhhh, they said she was lip-synching! And I was like, “And I care, why? #JayZis1LuckyMan!””

President Barack Obama: Dr. King, uhhhh… can we please discuss MORE important issues? Uhhhhh… there are very real changes facing this nation!

Ghost of Martin Luther KIng, Jr.: Yeah, yeah, yeah. And, speaking of change — What’s up with Michelle’s bangs?

President Barack Obama: I’m sorry?

Ghost of Martin Luther KIng, Jr.: Her baaaaaaaangs!! What, is she guest-starring on “The New Girl”? [ he chuckles to himself ] When she finally gets those bangs cut, she’s gonna be like, “I can see at last! THank God Almighty, I can see at last!!”

President Barack Obama: [ outraged ] Dr. King!!

Ghost of Martin Luther KIng, Jr.: Ohhhhh, really?! Come on! Relax! I’m joking around! Can’t we just be two guys talking real for a second? Why do I have to be serious and stately for all of eternity? And, besides — Today is my day off! [ he laughs ] You get it? Martin Luther King Day!

[ Aide knocks and re-enters the room ]

Aide: Uh, Mr. President? Is everything okay in here? I heard voices.

President Barack Obama: [ nervously ] Uh, uh, uh, yeah. I was just thinking out loud. I’m good.

[ Aide exits ]

Ghost of Martin Luther KIng, Jr.: [ annoyed ] Man, WHY you making rxcuses to him?! Just be like, “I’m the first Black president! Shut the Hell up and go to sleep!”

President Barack Obama: Dr. King, do you have any serious advice for me?

Ghost of Martin Luther KIng, Jr.: Oh, yes, I do! Yes, I do! You’re doing a good job, Barack. I’m proud of you. But, there’s still work to do. You’re he first Black president, but we’re STILL waiting for our first Black magician… There hasn’t been a Black King of England… and, uh, it is 2013 and there’s still not a single Black child in the band One Direction.

President Barack Obama: I mean, do you think there are any that want to be?

Ghost of Martin Luther KIng, Jr.: Probably not. Probably not, no. But, tonight, enjoy yourself! You have EARNED it.

President Barack Obama: Thank you, Dr. King. [ he extends his hand ]

Ghost of Martin Luther KIng, Jr.: You’re welcome. [ he stands ] And, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve gotta go visit Cornel West and tell him to TAKE IT DOWN about 30 notches. So, uh…

President Barack Obama: Here we go.

Ghost of Martin Luther KIng, Jr.: You want to do this together?

President Barack Obama: Uh…

Ghost of Martin Luther KIng, Jr.: I mean, it’s not every day they let a Black GHOST open the show!

President Barack Obama: Okay, uh… well, let’s do it!


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