SNL Transcripts: Kevin Hart: 03/02/13: Funeral


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 38: Episode 15

12o: Kevin Hart / Macklemore and Ryan Lewis


Priest…..Jay Pharoah
Cal…..Tim Robinson
Brian…..Kevin Hart

[ open on interior, funeral parlor ]

Priest: She was a wonderful woman, and she will be missed. Her son Cal would like to say a few words. Cal?

[ Cal steps forward ]

Cal: My mother Barbara lived life to the fullest — from gardening and spending time with her grandchildren. She always… had a smile on her face. [ distracted ] I’m sorry? Are you raising your hand? Do you have a question?

Brian: [ rushing forward ] IS IT A W SHIRT?!

[ hip hop beat plays ]

Cal: Please! I just lost my MOM, man!

Brian: Hey! IS IT AN X SHIRT?!

Cal: No! Just go!

Brian: IS IT A Y SHIRT?!

Cal: NOOO!!!

Brian: IS IT A Z SHIRT?!

Cal: Nope! Wait…! Yeah! It’s a Z Shirt! Yeah! [ they share the laugh ] Yeah, thanks, man!

[ cut to product graphic ]

Female Announcer: It’s a Z Shirt!

Announcer: New from Zappy!

[ fade ]

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

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