SNL Transcripts: Kevin Hart: 03/02/13: Funeral


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 38: Episode 15

12o: Kevin Hart / Macklemore and Ryan Lewis


Priest…..Jay Pharoah
Cal…..Tim Robinson
Brian…..Kevin Hart

[ open on interior, funeral parlor ]

Priest: She was a wonderful woman, and she will be missed. Her son Cal would like to say a few words. Cal?

[ Cal steps forward ]

Cal: My mother Barbara lived life to the fullest — from gardening and spending time with her grandchildren. She always… had a smile on her face. [ distracted ] I’m sorry? Are you raising your hand? Do you have a question?

Brian: [ rushing forward ] IS IT A W SHIRT?!

[ hip hop beat plays ]

Cal: Please! I just lost my MOM, man!

Brian: Hey! IS IT AN X SHIRT?!

Cal: No! Just go!

Brian: IS IT A Y SHIRT?!

Cal: NOOO!!!

Brian: IS IT A Z SHIRT?!

Cal: Nope! Wait…! Yeah! It’s a Z Shirt! Yeah! [ they share the laugh ] Yeah, thanks, man!

[ cut to product graphic ]

Female Announcer: It’s a Z Shirt!

Announcer: New from Zappy!

[ fade ]

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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