SNL Transcripts: Kevin Hart: 03/02/13: Funeral

 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 38: Episode 15

12o: Kevin Hart / Macklemore and Ryan Lewis


Priest…..Jay Pharoah
Cal…..Tim Robinson
Brian…..Kevin Hart

[ open on interior, funeral parlor ]

Priest: She was a wonderful woman, and she will be missed. Her son Cal would like to say a few words. Cal?

[ Cal steps forward ]

Cal: My mother Barbara lived life to the fullest — from gardening and spending time with her grandchildren. She always… had a smile on her face. [ distracted ] I’m sorry? Are you raising your hand? Do you have a question?

Brian: [ rushing forward ] IS IT A W SHIRT?!

[ hip hop beat plays ]

Cal: Please! I just lost my MOM, man!

Brian: Hey! IS IT AN X SHIRT?!

Cal: No! Just go!

Brian: IS IT A Y SHIRT?!

Cal: NOOO!!!

Brian: IS IT A Z SHIRT?!

Cal: Nope! Wait…! Yeah! It’s a Z Shirt! Yeah! [ they share the laugh ] Yeah, thanks, man!

[ cut to product graphic ]

Female Announcer: It’s a Z Shirt!

Announcer: New from Zappy!

[ fade ]

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