SNL Transcripts: Kevin Hart: 03/02/13: Z Shirts



 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 38: Episode 15










12o: Kevin Hart / Macklemore and Ryan Lewis

Z Shirts

Cal…..Tim Robinson
Brian……Kevin Hart

[ open on Brian and Cal playing basketball ]

Cal: Nice dunk!

Brian: Thanks, man! Hey — great T-shirt!

Cal: Ohhhh! This ain’t a T-Shirt! It’s a Z-Shirt!

[ cut to product image ]

Announcer: It’s the new Z-Shirt! The cool new shirts from Zappy! This ain’t no T-shirt — it’s the Z Shirt!

Kids: Z SHIRT!!

Brian: Oh! Wait! I’m confused! Is that an A Shirt?

Cal: Um — ab-so-lute-ly notttt!

Brian: [ laughung ] Is it a B Shirt?!

Cal: Not even close!

Brian: Is is a C Shirt?!

Cal: Wait! Did you say Z Shirt?

Brian: No! I said C Shirt!

Cal: No, it’s a T-shirt!

Brian: Is it a D Shirt?!

Cal: No, man…

Brian: IS IT AN E SHIRT?!

Cal: Why are you going in order? You don’t have to go in order!

Brian: IS IT AN F SHIRT?!

Cal: No! It’s a Z Shirt.

Brian: IS IT A G SHIRT?!

Cal: NO!! And it’s not an H, I, J, K! It’s NONE of those shirts!

Brian: IS IT AN H SHIRT?!

Cal: [ gritting his teeth ] Why do we have to do ALL of them?! I don’t see what you’re getting at…!

Brian: IS IT AN I SHIRT?!

Cal: You’re DEAD behind those eyes! There’s nothing behind them!

Brian: IS IT A J SHIRT?!

Cal: Brian… Brian…

Brian: IS IT A K SHIRT?!

Cal: [ outraged ] I WISH!! [ he points to the Z on his shirt ] If this thing was a K right here, we’d be DONE!!

Brian: IS IT AN L SHIRT?!

[ Cal simply walks away ]

Brian: What kind of shirt IS it, man?! IS IT AN M SHIRT?!

Cal: NO!!!

[ Brian runs after Cal ] [ cut to product image ]

Announcer: The Z Shirt! New from Zappy!

Brian: So many letters!

[ fade ]

SNL Transcripts

Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

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