SNL Transcripts: Vince Vaughn: 04/13/13


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 38: Episode 18

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Air Date:


Musical Guest:

Special Guests:


Bit Players:

Guest Writer:

April 13th, 2013

Vince Vaughn



Steve Jones


Monica Padrick

A Message from the President of the United StatesSummary: In discussing his gun control legislation, President Barack Obama (Jay Pharoah) allows Senator Joe Manchin (Jason Sudeikis) and Senator Patrick Toomey (Bill Hader) to outline some of the zanier clauses on the bill’s bipartisan agreement.

Recurring Characters: President Barack Obama.



Vince Vaughn’s MonologueSummary: Because the audience is who matters most during a live “SNL” performance, Vince Vaughn mingles among them to help them maintain their focus and ensure the show goes well.


The Al Pacino Accused Murderer Biopic SeriesSummary: Al Pacino (Bill Hader) dons different wigs in order to portray famous accused murderers in a series of televised biopics.


Stormy SkiesSummary: The new original soap opera on The Wesher Channel features an extramarital affair alongside a three-day forecast.

Recurring Characters: Al Roker.

History of PunkSummary: Documentary footage details the political leanings of punk rocker Ian Rubbish (Fred Armisen), a staunch anarchist except where the life of Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher was concerned.

Short Term Memory Loss TheaterSummary: (Bill Hader) joins in a performance of “Howl of the Landlord” with the Short Term Memory Loss Players.

Miguel performs “Adorn”

Weekend Update with Seth MeyersSummary: Brad Paisley (Jason Sudeikis) and L.L. Cool J (Kenan Thompson) comment on the unusual backstory of their new rap-country hybrid “Accidental Racist”. Marina Chapman (Kate McKinnon) relates her story of being raised by monkeys.

Junior PromSummary: Rich Man From the Hill (Vince Vaughn) donates money for North Side Junior High School’s prom, then comes down to help liven up the festivities.

Roundball RockSummary: At a 1990 meeting with NBC Sports, John Tesh (Jason Sudeikis) and his brother Dave (Tim Robinson) perform “Roundball Rock” with unnecessarily loud lyrics.

Note: This sketch was cut from the dress rehearsal of the episode hosted by Louis C.K. earlier in the season.


Miguel performs “How Many Drinks”

Last Call IISummary: Drunken (Vince Vaughn) and Sheila Sovage (Kate McKinnon) hit if off after they’re the last singles left in the bar at closing time.

Recurring Characters: Sheila Sovage.


Dress Rehearsal Cuts


SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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