Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 38: Episode 19
12s: Zach Galifianakis / Of Monsters and Men
Darrell’s House
Darrell Sparks…..Zach Galifianakis
…..Jon Hamm
[ open on Knoxville Cable Access card ]
[ dissolve to Darrell’s head bouncing around on blue screen ]
Jingle: “It’s the…
first time…
Darrell’s having people over to his house.”
Darrell V/O: “Hoo-ray!!”
[ dissolve to Darrell standing in his living room ]
Darrell: …Hello!
[ jump cut ]
Darrell: …Let me tell you a little bit about myself: I’m Darrell Sparks, and I love to enter–
Wife V/O: What are —
Darrell: –TAIN!! So what do I consider the three keys of entertaining? 1. Great snacks!
[ cut to an empty snack tray ]
[ jump cut to snacks now on the tray ]
Darrell: The second key? Good music! That’s why I’m playing…
Darrell V/O: [ as his lips move on-screen ] Al… Jolsen.
[ Al Jolsen music begins to play ]
Darrell: That sounds GREAT!! And last, but not least, great guests!
[ jump cut as a doorbell rings ]
Darrell: I think one is here right now!
[ Darrell walks over to the front door and opens it ]
Darrell: Mr. Jon Hamm!
[ jump cut as the door opens and Jon Hamm steps in ]
Jon Hamm: How youdoing, Darrell?
Darrell: Thanks for coming! [ split-screen on Darrell shaking his friends hand, with Jon Hamm in the pother frame ] You look AMAZING, Jon! What’s your secret?
[ cut to close-up of Jon Hamm ]
Jon Hamm: If I told you… it wouldn’t be a secret!
Darrell: [ he laughs ridiculously over-the-top ] Oh, Jon! Care for some snacks?
[ the two camera angles follow Darrell and Jon Hamm to thesnack area ]
[ cut to Jon Hamm putting a snack in his mouth ]
Jon Hamm: Excellent!
Darrell: [ with his Friend’s arm still in the shot ] Why, thank you, Jon! I made them myself!
Jon Hamm: They’re great!
Darrell: You look so happy, Jon, which is surprising — I always heard you were a MAD man!
[ cut to full-frame video footage of the “Showtime at the Apollo” audience whooping it up ]
Darrell: [ with his Friend still in the shot ] Thanks for stopping by, Jon!
[ jump cut to Jon Hamm, with Darrell checking his phone in the background ]
Jon Hamm: Thanks for having me!
[ Jon Hamm exits ]
Darrell: Well… For the first time I had someone to my house, THAT was a success!
[ close-up of Darrell blinking, with a CGI of his right eye still open ]
[ jump cut to a freeze-frame of Darrell with the credits scrolling over him ]
[ cut back to Darrell’s head bouncing around on blue screen ]
Jingle: “It’s the…
first time…
Darrell’s having people over to his house.”
Darrell V/O: “Hoo-ray!!”
[ fade ]
