SNL Transcripts: Zach Galifianakis: 05/04/13: Darrell’s House


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 38: Episode 19

12s: Zach Galifianakis / Of Monsters and Men

Darrell’s House

Darrell Sparks…..Zach Galifianakis
…..Jon Hamm

[ open on Knoxville Cable Access card ] [ dissolve to Darrell’s head bouncing around on blue screen ]

Jingle: “It’s the…
first time…
Darrell’s having people over to his house.”

Darrell V/O: “Hoo-ray!!”

[ dissolve to Darrell standing in his living room ]

Darrell: …Hello!

[ jump cut ]

Darrell: …Let me tell you a little bit about myself: I’m Darrell Sparks, and I love to enter–

Wife V/O: What are —

Darrell: –TAIN!! So what do I consider the three keys of entertaining? 1. Great snacks!

[ cut to an empty snack tray ] [ jump cut to snacks now on the tray ]

Darrell: The second key? Good music! That’s why I’m playing…

Darrell V/O: [ as his lips move on-screen ] Al… Jolsen.

[ Al Jolsen music begins to play ]

Darrell: That sounds GREAT!! And last, but not least, great guests!

[ jump cut as a doorbell rings ]

Darrell: I think one is here right now!

[ Darrell walks over to the front door and opens it ]

Darrell: Mr. Jon Hamm!

[ jump cut as the door opens and Jon Hamm steps in ]

Jon Hamm: How youdoing, Darrell?

Darrell: Thanks for coming! [ split-screen on Darrell shaking his friends hand, with Jon Hamm in the pother frame ] You look AMAZING, Jon! What’s your secret?

[ cut to close-up of Jon Hamm ]

Jon Hamm: If I told you… it wouldn’t be a secret!

Darrell: [ he laughs ridiculously over-the-top ] Oh, Jon! Care for some snacks?

[ the two camera angles follow Darrell and Jon Hamm to thesnack area ] [ cut to Jon Hamm putting a snack in his mouth ]

Jon Hamm: Excellent!

Darrell: [ with his Friend’s arm still in the shot ] Why, thank you, Jon! I made them myself!

Jon Hamm: They’re great!

Darrell: You look so happy, Jon, which is surprising — I always heard you were a MAD man!

[ cut to full-frame video footage of the “Showtime at the Apollo” audience whooping it up ]

Darrell: [ with his Friend still in the shot ] Thanks for stopping by, Jon!

[ jump cut to Jon Hamm, with Darrell checking his phone in the background ]

Jon Hamm: Thanks for having me!

[ Jon Hamm exits ]

Darrell: Well… For the first time I had someone to my house, THAT was a success!

[ close-up of Darrell blinking, with a CGI of his right eye still open ] [ jump cut to a freeze-frame of Darrell with the credits scrolling over him ] [ cut back to Darrell’s head bouncing around on blue screen ]

Jingle: “It’s the…
first time…
Darrell’s having people over to his house.”

Darrell V/O: “Hoo-ray!!”

[ fade ]

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

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