Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 39: Episode 1
e-Meth
Meth Smoker #1…..Taran Killam
Meth Smoker #2…..Brooks Wheelan
Meth Smoker #3…..Kate McKinnon
Homeowner…..Kenan Thompson
Jesse Pinkman…..Aaron Paul
[ open on Meth Smoker #1 ]
Meth Smoker #1: Like a lot of people, I love to smoke. But my friends and family always make me go outside to do it. So that’s why I now use… [ he holds up electronic pipe ] e-Meth. It’s crystal meth, but it’s electronic, so it produces vapor instead of smoke. And that means I can ride the ice pony… anywhere I want. [ he puffs and smiles ]
[ cut to Meth Smoker #2 ]
Meth Smoker #2: Smoke is a social thing for me. Without my meth pipe, I don’t know WHAT to do with my hands! [ he twiddles his thumbs ] But now I do know what to do with them: I smoke METH! [ he lights up his pipe, puffs, and chokes ] It’s good!
[ cut to Meth Smoker #3 ]
Meth Smoker #3: Thanks to e-Meth, now I don’t even need to leave the bar to get the sweet shabbu shabbu. Mama can smoke that chunky white crunch anywhere! At the office… [ footage: at the office ] At the grocery store… [ footage: stumbling around the grocery store ] In a bathtub in the middle of the road… [ footage: bathtub in road ] Or facedown in a big ol’ tire. [ footage: facedwon in big tire ]
[ cut to Meth Smoker #2 ]
Meth Smoker #2: And it’s healthier because it doesn’t contain antifreeze. But… it still has that great meth taste.
[ cut to Meth Smoker #1 ]
Meth Smoker #1: e-Meth lets me get totally gakked up on woop chicken, without yellowing my teeth. [ he pulls out a tooth ] See? Perfectly white. [ he holds the tooth to his ear ] What? Hello? This is he.
[ cut to Meth Smoker #2 ]
Meth Smoker #2: Thanks to e-Meth, I can now even smoke inside my favorite restaurant!
Homeowner: Excuse me, Sir? You can’t smoke meth in here.
Meth Smoker #2: [ laughing ] It’s okay — It’s electronic!
Homeowner: I don’t care! You in my LIVING ROOM… and you NEKKID!!
[ the Homeowner chases the half-naked man around his living room ]
Announcer: e-Meth is not for everyone. Talk to your doctor if you experience body rash, face swell, painful death, or fatigue.
[ cut to Jesse Pinkman from “Breaking Bad” ]
Jesse Pinkman: e-Meth. You know it’s good, ’cause it’s blue, BITCH!
[ fade ]
As a former ice addict; 14 years clean until 1 year ago. When this first came out I was in rehab and it was too painful to watch. Now I’m dabbling a little I can see the excellent humor that masks the sad truth of the problem. The only way to stop is to cut off all your old contacts and ice friends. While you are around the lifestyle rather than lack of lifestyle; you will relapse.
Exploring and pre roll weed has been an enlightening journey for me. The status and odour of these products are provocative, oblation a calming and enjoyable experience. Whether I’m unwinding after a extensive day or seeking resourceful inspiration, hemp pre-rolls produce a commonplace choice that I can trust. The convenience of pre-rolls combined with the benefits of hemp flowers liberate them a go-to choice for relaxation and mindfulness. I know the attention to group specifically and spotlessness of the products, enhancing my all-inclusive satisfaction. Exceptionally advocate stressful hemp flowers and pre-rolls for a holistic and fulfilling experience!
I really appreciate the depth of information you’ve provided here. It’s clear that you’ve put a lot of thought and effort into this post.
Well done! This article provides a lot of value.
Worrisome mood gummies has been perfectly the journey. As someone pointed on usual remedies, delving into the world of hemp has been eye-opening. From THC tinctures to hemp seeds and protein puissance, I’ve explored a brand of goods. In defiance of the disorder bordering hemp, researching and consulting experts receive helped navigate this burgeoning field. Entire, my live with hemp has been despotic, gift holistic well-being solutions and sustainable choices.
I recently reach-me-down this locality to lay one’s hands on ductless system , and I couldn’t be happier with the results. The search was straightforward, and I appreciated the detailed profiles and bloke reviews instead of each contractor. It мейд comparing options and reading nearly other clients’ experiences easy. The contractors I contacted were prompt, licensed, and offered competitive quotes. This position is a fantastic resource for anyone needing honourable home vamp services. Warmly recommended payment its understandable interface and eminence listings!