SNL Transcripts: Miley Cyrus: 10/05/13



SNL Transcripts: Miley Cyrus: 10/05/13 ]]>

 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 39: Episode 2

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Air Date:


Musical Guest:

Special Guests:


Bit Players:

October 5th, 2013

Miley Cyrus

Miley Cyrus




VMA’sSummary: In a bleak vision of the future, Papa Joe (Kenan Thompson) points to Miley Cyrus’ behavior at the 2013 Video Music Awards as the moment civilization spiraled out.

Recurring Characters: Miley Cyrus, Will Smith.


Miley Cyrus’ MonologueSummary: Miley Cyrus promises there will no twerking and kills a sketch about a wrecking ball.


50 Shades of Grey AuditionsSummary: Odd celebrity pairings audition for the roles of Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele.

Recurring Characters: Phillip Seymour Hoffman, Kristen Stewart.

Girlfirends Talk ShowSummary: Morgan (Aidy Bryant) is threatened anew when best friend co-host Kyra (Cecily Strong) welcomes new best friend Tara (Miley Cyrus) to the topic couch.

Recurring Characters: Kyra, Morgan.

We Did Stop (The Government)Summary: John Boehner (Taran Killam) and Michelle Bachman (Miley Cyrus) star in a political spoof of Miley Cyrus’ latest music video.

Recurring Characters: John Boehner, Michelle Bachman, President Barack Obama.


Piers Morgan LiveSummary: Arianna Huffington (Nasim Pedrad) gives Piers Morgan (Taran Killam) the rundown on a series of Hillary Clinton televised biopics.

Recurring Characters: Piers Morgan, Arianna Huffington, President Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, Bill Clinton.

Miley Cyrus performs “Wrecking Ball”

Weekend Update with Seth Meyers & Cecily StrongSummary: Seth Meyers and Cecily Strong outline the “Winners/Losers” of the government shutdown. Connecticut mother Pat Lynhart (Kate McKinnon) opposes video game violence but loves Grand Theft Auto 5. A drooling Shannon Sharpe (Jay Pharoah) gives his take on the NFL season. Bar Mitzvah boy Jacob (Vanessa Bayer) reads pre-rehearsed jokes about Shabbatz.

Recurring Characters: Jacob.

CheerleadersSummary: Cheerleading practice is interrupted by a space alien (Kenan Thompson) who wants to take the Earth’s moon.

Morning, MiamiSummary: Morning co-anchors (Miley Cyrus, Bobby Moynihan, Kate McKinnon) seethe at the thought of having to peppily tape the week’s promo spots.


Miley Cyrus performs “We Can’t Stop”

Poetry ClassSummary: Poetry specialist Miss Meadows (Vanessa Bayer) remains enthusiastic while teaching her craft to high-schoolers who just don’t give a damn about peotry.


Kyle’s OfficeSummary: Kyle Mooney is distraught at the thought that Miley Cyrus wants to have anything goes sex with him in his office, and asks Beck Bennett and Bobby Moynihan for advice.



Dress Rehearsal Cuts

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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