SNL Transcripts: Miley Cyrus: 10/05/13: Morning, Miami



 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 39: Episode 2








13b: Miley Cyrus

Morning, Miami

Producer…..Vanessa Bayer
Yolanda…..Miley Cyrus
B.F…..Bobby Moynihan
Jill…..Kate McKinnon

[ open on morning show studio ]

Producer: Okay, guys, we’re ready to shoot this week’s promos. Let’s get the talent in here. [ the co-anchors approach the news desk ] Morning, guys!

B.F.: Is it? Is it a good morning? Can we just get this over with, please?

Producer: Okay, we’ve got the prompter… and we’re rolling! In 3… 2…!

[ graphics appear on-screen ]

All: MORNING, MIAMI!!!

Yolanda: Miami Monday is… Miami Fun Day!

B.F.: The incomparable TIKI BARBER is in the studio to talk about his new cookbook, and life in general!

Jill: And who makes the best curling iron? The answer might surprise you!

Yolanda: I’m Yolanda…

Jill: I’m Jill…

B.F.: And I’m B.F. Join us Monday, on…

All: MORNING, MIAMI!!!

Producer: And… we’re clear!

[ the co-anchors slam their coffee mugs on the news desk and fume ]

Producer: Okay… Tuesday’s promo is up! And remember to say your FULL names this time! And we’re ready to roll ! In 3… 2… 1!

[ graphics appear on-screen ]

All: MORNING, MIAMI!!!

Yolanda: This Tuesday is… Shoes Day, and we are pumping you full of pumps!

B.F.: Jeff Dunham’s PUPPETS are in the studio — Jeff dunham is not! And we’ll find out how funny those puppets really are!

Jill: Are ghosts real? Turns out, no! Here to talk about it, is actor Topher Grace!

Yolanda: I’m Yolanda…

Jill: I’m Jill…

B.F.: And I’m B.F. Join us Tuesday, on…

All: MORNING, MIAMI!!!

Producer: And… we’re clear!

[ the co-anchors slam their coffee mugs on the news desk and fume; Jill digs in her nose ]

Producer: Okay, Wednesday’s up! And remember, guys — full names! 3… 2…!

[ graphics appear on-screen ]

All: MORNING, MIAMI!!!

Yolanda: Get on your camel, or your significant other! Because it’s Hump Day!

Jill: Then: It’s a bird, it’s plane, it’s an… ugly rabbit? The worst-looking rabbits in the state of Florida are strutting their stuff in Tampa’s 23rd Annual Bummer Bunny contest!

B.F.: And the cast of the HIHESt-RATED cable show “Duck Dynasty” is here, to talk about how the duck call business is not all it’s quacked up to beak!

Yolanda: I’m Yolanda…

Jill: I’m Jill…

B.F.: And I’m B.F.! Join us Wednesday, on…

All: MORNING, MIAMI!!!

Producer: And… we’re clear!

[ the co-anchors slam their coffee mugs on the news desk and fume; Jill digs in her nose ] [ Jill starts to sing to herself ]

B.F.: Oh, shut it!

Yolanda: Shut it!

B.F.: Shut it up!

Producer: Okay, guys. No show on Thursday, because it’s a leap week. So Friday’s promo is up! FULL NAMES! And we’re on! In 3… 2…!

[ graphics appear on-screen ]

All: MORNING, MIAMI!!!

Yolanda: Friday is Rye Day! What can you put between two pieces of bread? The answer… may turn you on!

Jill: Then: He’s a helicopter, he’s a machine gun, he’s a bigot? Racist foley artist Bill Spinx is here to make soem funny sounds and some awful comments!

B.F.: He can throw a 90-mile-per-hour fast ball, but get this: He’s only ONE years old! Infant pitcher Danny Baker’s in the studio!

Yolanda: I’m Yolanda Natalie Portman…

Jill: I’m Jill Amockingbird…

B.F.: And I’m BITCH FANTASTIC! Join us Friday, on…

All: MORNING, MIAMI!!!

[ fade ]

SNL Transcripts

Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

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