Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 39: Episode 7
November 23rd 2013
Piers Morgan TonightSummary: Piers Morgan (Taran Killam) discusses George Zimmerman’s recent borderline criminal activity.
Recurring Characters: Piers Morgan, George Zimmer.
Josh Hutcherson’s MonologueSummary: Josh Hutcherson endures the cast’s desire to pit him in their own version of “The Hunger Games”.
Girlfriends Talk ShowSummary: Morgan (Aidy Bryant) acts nervous when Kyra (Cecily Strong) invites her secret crush Trevor Masterson (Josh Hutcherson) to co-host the show.
Recurring Characters: Kyra, Morgan.
Office BossSummary: New company employee Craig (Josh Hutcherson) meets his boss Richard Patterson (Beck Bennett), who hs the intelligence of a man yet the body of a baby.
Matchbox 3Summary: Trio of subway performers (Kenan Thompson, Jay Pharoah, Josh Hutcherson) specialize in the art of performing limited dance moves in crowded subway cars.
HAIM performs “The Wire”
Weekend Update with Seth Meyers & Cecily StrongSummary: The Worst Lady on an Airplane (Aidy Bryant) offers tips on how to behave annoyingly during holiday plane trips.
80’s SongSummary: Veronica (Vanessa Bayer) meets her friend’s brother Devon (Josh Hutcherson), which sparks a romantic conversation via the lip-synched lyrics of “Our Love” by The Outfield.
Best Buy FiringSummary: When the manager (Josh Hutcherson) at Best Buy calls a meeting to announce employee layoffs, Niff (Bobby Moynihan) and Dana (Cecily Strong) assume they’re first in line on the chopping block and proceed to call out their co-workers for being a bunch of lame-asses.
Recurring Characters: Niff, Dana, Jessica McClure.
HAIM performs “Don’t Save Me”
Animal HospitalSummary: Bored nurses (Josh Hutcherson, Kate McKinnon, Cecily Strong) at an animal hospital tell all the owners that their pets have died.
Investigative ReportSummary: Investigative reporter Winston Sam Bass (Mike O’Brien) and his brothe Lance Sam Bass (Josh Hutcherson) ask bugs why they’re always running so fast.
Thanksgiving GuestSummary: Trey’s (Josh Hutcherson) family is surprised when he brings his live turkey girlfriend (Vanessa Bayer) home for Thanksgiving dinner.
Dress Rehearsal Cuts