SNL Transcripts: Paul Rudd: 12/07/13

 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 39: Episode 8

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Air Date:


Musical Guest:

Special Guests:


Bit Players:

December 7th 2013

Paul Rudd

One Direction


Kristen Wiig

Fred Armisen

Will Ferrell

David Koechner

Steve Carell


The Sound of Music: Live & CondensedSummary: The truncated live version of “The Sound of Music” runs ridiculously long with the unnecessary addition of Dooneese (Kristen Wiig) and Lawrence Welk (Fred Armisen).

Recurring Characters: Dooneese, Lawrence Welk.


Paul Rudd’s MonologueSummary: Paul Rudd initiates a Battle of the Boy Bands by pitting himself, Will Ferrell, David Koechner and Steve Carell against One Direction.


Politics NationSummary: Al Sharpton (Kenan Thompson) discusses the website with unpaid Huffington Post contributor Peter Douchet (Paul Rudd).

Recurring Characters: Al Sharpton.

One Direction’s #1 FanSummary: Grown man Dan Charles (Paul Rudd) is One Direction’s #1 fan.

DivorceSummary: Mr. and Mrs. Keller (Paul Rudd, Vanessa Bayer) want a divorce, yet are still mutually attracted to Fleetwood Mac’s “I Don’t Want to Know.”

One Direction performs “Story of My Life”

Weekend Update with Seth Meyers & Cecily StrongSummary:

Michelangelo’s DavidSummary: The male model (Paul Rudd) who posed for Michelangelo’s (Taran Killam) David is embarrassed by his tiny sculpted penis.


White ChristmasSummary: Paul Rudd stars in multiple roles in a black holiday movie geared for white audiences.

Santa’s WorkshopSummary: Santa Claus (Paul Rudd) is a changed man after experiencing rapid weight loss just before Christmas.

Past LoversSummary:

One Direction performs “Through the Dark”

Bill BraskySummary: Copier salesman (Will Ferell, David Koechner, Taran Killam, Paul Rudd) wax nostalgic about Bill Brasky while drinking at a Chuck E. Cheese’s.



Dress Rehearsal Cuts

SNL Transcripts

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