SNL Transcripts: Paul Rudd: 12/07/13


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 39: Episode 8

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Air Date:


Musical Guest:

Special Guests:


Bit Players:

December 7th 2013

Paul Rudd

One Direction


Kristen Wiig

Fred Armisen

Will Ferrell

David Koechner

Steve Carell


The Sound of Music: Live & CondensedSummary: The truncated live version of “The Sound of Music” runs ridiculously long with the unnecessary addition of Dooneese (Kristen Wiig) and Lawrence Welk (Fred Armisen).

Recurring Characters: Dooneese, Lawrence Welk.


Paul Rudd’s MonologueSummary: Paul Rudd initiates a Battle of the Boy Bands by pitting himself, Will Ferrell, David Koechner and Steve Carell against One Direction.


Politics NationSummary: Al Sharpton (Kenan Thompson) discusses the website with unpaid Huffington Post contributor Peter Douchet (Paul Rudd).

Recurring Characters: Al Sharpton.

One Direction’s #1 FanSummary: Grown man Dan Charles (Paul Rudd) is One Direction’s #1 fan.

DivorceSummary: Mr. and Mrs. Keller (Paul Rudd, Vanessa Bayer) want a divorce, yet are still mutually attracted to Fleetwood Mac’s “I Don’t Want to Know.”

One Direction performs “Story of My Life”

Weekend Update with Seth Meyers & Cecily StrongSummary:

Michelangelo’s DavidSummary: The male model (Paul Rudd) who posed for Michelangelo’s (Taran Killam) David is embarrassed by his tiny sculpted penis.


White ChristmasSummary: Paul Rudd stars in multiple roles in a black holiday movie geared for white audiences.

Santa’s WorkshopSummary: Santa Claus (Paul Rudd) is a changed man after experiencing rapid weight loss just before Christmas.

Past LoversSummary:

One Direction performs “Through the Dark”

Bill BraskySummary: Copier salesman (Will Ferell, David Koechner, Taran Killam, Paul Rudd) wax nostalgic about Bill Brasky while drinking at a Chuck E. Cheese’s.



Dress Rehearsal Cuts

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

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