Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 39: Episode 11
January 18th 2014
Piers Morgan LiveSummary: Piers Morgan (Taran Killam) interviews Gov. Chris Christie (Bobby Moynihan), Alex Rodriguez (Drake) and Justin Bieber (Kate McKinnon) about their recent embarrassing scandals.
Recurring Characters: Piers Morgan, Chris Christie, Justin Bieber.
Drake’s MonologueSummary: Drake dispenses a series of “fun facts” about his life, including his Jewish heritage with a look back at his Bar Mitzvah.
Hip Hop Classics: Before They Were StarsSummary: Sway (Kenan Thompson) takes a look back at hip hop stars who performed in minor television roles before they were famous.
Recurring Characters: Sway, Eminem, Jay-Z, Rihanna, Joey Lawrence, Jenna Van Oy, Rick Ross, Mr. Wizard.
Nancy GraceSummary: Nancy Grace (Noel Wells) is opposed to pro-pot legistlation, unlike her guests who are making out like bandits in Colorado.
Recurring Characters: Nancy Grace, Katt Williams.
Resolution RevolutionSummary: A group of people (Taran Killam, Drake) fail to fulfill their New Year’s resolutions.
Slumber PartySummary: While at a slumber party, Melanie (Aidy Bryant) is hot for her friend’s (Sasheer Zamata) dad (Drake).
Drake performs “Started From the Bottom” and “Trophies”
Weekend Update with Seth Meyers & Cecily StrongSummary: Jacqueline Bisset (Vanessa Bayer) takes a long time wandering through the audience to comment about her Golden Globes appearance. Arianna Huffington (Nasim Pedrad) comments about Hillary Clinton’s chances of getting the Demoratic nomination for President in 2016.
Recurring Characters: Arianna Huffington.
Disney World ShowSummary: Rahat (Nasim Pedrad) only wants to hold onto her rice as she assists Dalton (Drake) in performing an Indiana Jones stunt spectacular.
DetentionSummary: Poetry specialist Ms. Meadows (Vanessa Bayer) remains enthusiastic while teaching her craft to high-schoolers in detention who just don’t give a damn about poetry.
Recurring Characters: Ms. Meadows.
Drake performs “Hold On, We’re Going Home” and “From Time” with Jhené Aiko
Morning MiamiSummary: Morning co-anchors (Drake, Bobby Moynihan, Kate McKinnon) seethe at the thought of having to peppily tape the week’s promo spots.
I KnowSummary: Kyle’s (Kyle Mooney) know-it-all attitude leads to a near-fatality while bragging to his buddy (Beck Bennett).
Dress Rehearsal Cuts