SNL Transcripts: Andy Samberg: 05/17/14: Legolas from ‘The Hobbit’ Tries to Order at Taco Bell



 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 39: Episode 21








13u: Andy Samberg / St. Vincent

Legolas from ‘The Hobbit’ Tries to Order at Taco Bell

Legolas…..Andy Samberg
Employee…..Jay Pharoah
Gimli…..Bobby Moynihan

Announcer: And now, Legolas from The Hobbit tries to order at Taco Bell.

Legolas: I have no memory of this place. Good Day!

Employee: Welcome to Taco Bell. May I take your order, please?

Legolas: A red sun rises. Blood has been spilled this night.

Employee: No man. It’s just sauce over there.

Legolas: I’ll take two beef chalupas.

Employee: Two beef chalupas for this hippie lady.

Legolas: You have my thanks. But I cannot linger. How’s the Cool Ranch Doritos Taco Loco? Is that good? I keep hearing about it.

Gimli: Just save some for me!

Legolas: Gimli, you’ve returned!

Gimli: That’s right old friend. Hi, I’ll have a cheesy chicken burrito as well as, one of everything else on the menu, please. Ha, ha, ha! Funny! I thought I would never dine with an elf.

Legolas: Then how about dining with a friend?

Gimli: Aye! That I can do. Ha ha ha!

Employee: (looking at the camera) White people.

Announcer: This has been Legolas from The Hobbit tries to order at Taco Bell.

Submitted by: Raul Gonzalez

SNL Transcripts

Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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