SNL Transcripts: Chris Pratt: 09/27/14

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 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 40: Episode 1


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Air Date:

Host:

Musical Guest:

Special Guests:

Cameos:



Bit Players:


September 27th, 2014

Chris Pratt

Arianna Grande

None

Anna Faris

The Weekend

None

State of the UnionSummary: Candy Crowley (Aidy Bryant) discusses the NFL’s recent troubles with Ray Lewis (Kenan Thompson) and Shannon Sharpe (Jay Pharoah).

Recurring Characters: Candy Crowley, Shannon Sharpe.

Transcript

Montage

Chris Pratt’s MonologueSummary: Chris Pratt sings a song about how great it is to host “Saturday Night Live”.

Cialis TurntSummary: Man (Taran Killam) uses extra-strength erection pill to ensure he has a stylin’ boner.

ToysSummary: On his birthday, a lonely boy’s (Kyle Money) wish for his He-Man (Chris Pratt) and Lion-O (Taran Killam) toys to come alive backfires when they’d rather fondle one another and hit on his mom (Aidy Bryant).

Animal HospitalSummary: Nurses (Cecily Strong, Kate McKinnon, Chris Pratt) at veterinarian’s office alert customers that their pets have died.

MarvelSummary: New line of Marvel films are made with no original thought and guaranteed to attract audiences everywhere.

Ariana Grande performs “Break Free”

Weekend Update with Colin Jost & Michael CheSummary: Girl (Cecily Strong). Leslie Jones comments on being a single black woman in today’s world. Pete Davidson comments on the business sensibility in going down on a guy. Colin Jost and Michael Che advise President Barack Obama to cheer up by delivering sensible advice.

Recurring Characters: Girl.

Booty RapSummary: At a bar, (Aidy Bryant) hits on (Chris Pratt) by rapping about her big fat ass.

Bad BoysSummary: In a spoof of 90’s sitcoms, (Chris Pratt) falls in with a group of young bad boys, nearly alienating himself from his roommates (Beck Bennett, Kyle Mooney).

NFL On CBSSummary: Members of the Baltimore Ravens and the Carolina Panthers introduce themselves and list their recent crimes.

Transcript

Ariana Grande and The Weekend perform “Love Me Harder”

Puzzle World 6Summary: Man (Chris Pratt) and woman (Vanessa Bayer) from Puzzle World make out every time their test users complete a puzzle piece.

GoodnightsTranscript

Dress Rehearsal Cuts

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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