SNL Transcripts: Chris Pratt: 09/27/14


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 40: Episode 1

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Air Date:


Musical Guest:

Special Guests:


Bit Players:

September 27th, 2014

Chris Pratt

Arianna Grande


Anna Faris

The Weekend


State of the UnionSummary: Candy Crowley (Aidy Bryant) discusses the NFL’s recent troubles with Ray Lewis (Kenan Thompson) and Shannon Sharpe (Jay Pharoah).

Recurring Characters: Candy Crowley, Shannon Sharpe.



Chris Pratt’s MonologueSummary: Chris Pratt sings a song about how great it is to host “Saturday Night Live”.

Cialis TurntSummary: Man (Taran Killam) uses extra-strength erection pill to ensure he has a stylin’ boner.

ToysSummary: On his birthday, a lonely boy’s (Kyle Money) wish for his He-Man (Chris Pratt) and Lion-O (Taran Killam) toys to come alive backfires when they’d rather fondle one another and hit on his mom (Aidy Bryant).

Animal HospitalSummary: Nurses (Cecily Strong, Kate McKinnon, Chris Pratt) at veterinarian’s office alert customers that their pets have died.

MarvelSummary: New line of Marvel films are made with no original thought and guaranteed to attract audiences everywhere.

Ariana Grande performs “Break Free”

Weekend Update with Colin Jost & Michael CheSummary: Girl (Cecily Strong). Leslie Jones comments on being a single black woman in today’s world. Pete Davidson comments on the business sensibility in going down on a guy. Colin Jost and Michael Che advise President Barack Obama to cheer up by delivering sensible advice.

Recurring Characters: Girl.

Booty RapSummary: At a bar, (Aidy Bryant) hits on (Chris Pratt) by rapping about her big fat ass.

Bad BoysSummary: In a spoof of 90’s sitcoms, (Chris Pratt) falls in with a group of young bad boys, nearly alienating himself from his roommates (Beck Bennett, Kyle Mooney).

NFL On CBSSummary: Members of the Baltimore Ravens and the Carolina Panthers introduce themselves and list their recent crimes.


Ariana Grande and The Weekend perform “Love Me Harder”

Puzzle World 6Summary: Man (Chris Pratt) and woman (Vanessa Bayer) from Puzzle World make out every time their test users complete a puzzle piece.


Dress Rehearsal Cuts

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

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