Bank Robbers

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Aidy Bryant

Beck Bennett

Johnny… Bobby Moynihan

Kenan Thompson

Kyle Mooney

Sasheer Zamata

Kate McKinnon

Taran Killam

[Starts with a woman walking in the bank] [Cut to people withdrawing and depositing money] [Cut to Aidy screaming. The robbers run in with guns.]

Beck: Everybody listen up. [robbers open their masks] This is exactly what you think it is. So do us a favor and get down on the floor.

[Cut to everyone in the bank getting down.]

Johnny: [yelling] Ay, I said get down on the floor.

[Cut to Kenan scared but standing]

Kyle: Looks like this guy needs a little help. Johnny, get me a chair.

[Johnny brings a chair. Johnny and Kyle nicely helps Kenan to sit on a chair as he couldn’t get down because he was using mobility aid.]

Kyle: Alright, here you go.

Johnny: Wheels. Be careful.
Kenan: Thank you very much.

[the robbers get back to robbing]

Beck: Fine, this is how this is going to work. You do exactly what we say and we’re all going to have a real good time.

[Kyle jumps with his gun pointing at a lady who is still standing]

Kyle: What’s your problem?

Sasheer: [panicking] I don’t know. I’m sorry.

Johnny: Oh, no! Little princess ain’t in fairy tale land no more. Hey, do you want some water? \
Kyle: Sparkling or still?

Sasheer: What?

Johnny: He said sparking [reloads his gun] or still?

Sasheer: Still.

[cut to Kyle getting water from the filter for Sasheer]

Kyle: Okay. Gotta keep hydrated.

Sasheer: Oh, thank you.

[Cut to Kate sitting down. Beck is walking towards her.]

Beck: Every banks gotta have a manager. Right? There she is. Come on, stand up. [Beck holds Kate and pulls her up.] You know the drill. Now, while I take your lovely manager back to the vault, I trust that there ain’t gonna be any interruptions.

[Cut to Johnny]

Johnny: And if we hear one little peep out of any of you, you’re gonna be spending the night at DG cemetery.

[Cut to a man hugging a boy. The boy lets his marble ball go. The ball rolls to Kyle. Kyle picks it up and walks to them.]

Kyle: Does this belong to you little boy?

[Cut to the man and the boy]

Taran: Do not hurt my son.

[Cut to Kyle]

Kyle: Oh, we ain’t gonna hurt him. We’re just gonna teach him a lesson. On how learning can be fun.

[Kyle wears a cap and starts teaching the boy]

Greetings, I am a union soldier. The year is Beck8KateJohnny and I am Beck9 years old. I am very hungry. And the winters are blistering cold.

[Cut to the man and the boy]

The boy: Wow, cool!

[Cut to Kyle] [Johnny walks in with a hat] Johnny: And I am a confederate soldier. On the battlefield, we are enemies. But at home, we are brothers.

[Cut to Aidy screaming] [Kyle walks to Aidy]

Kyle: You think that’s scary? [Aidy was watching a movie on TV] Wait till you find out that she is actually– Wait! I’m going to ruin it.

[Johnny walks in with popcorn.]

Kyle: Hey, you need any butter?

Aidy: Yes, please.

[Kyle puts the butter on popcorn.] [Cut to the vault. Kate is putting the money in the bag.]

Beck: I just realized, I know exactly what a girl like you needs.] [Kate looking worried] Kate: What?

Beck: Something like this. [Beck puts on a puppy pin on her coat]

Kate: Charlie!

[blasting sound] [Aidy screaming] [Cut to Johnny and Kyle. They popped the confetti blaster. They bring a cake for Aidy with birthday candles.]

Johnny: Surprise!

Aidy: How did you know?

Kyle: We stole your wallet!

[Beck comes in running]

Beck: Alright everyone. Thank you so much for your cooperation. And now, we finally get to finish this song and dance.

[The robbers put guns away and start singing and dancing]

Look I got the money, sorry if we scared you

now it’s time to go.

[Robbers point the guns again and walk out]

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

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