Johnny… Bobby Moynihan
Taran Killam[Starts with a woman walking in the bank] [Cut to people withdrawing and depositing money] [Cut to Aidy screaming. The robbers run in with guns.]
Beck: Everybody listen up. [robbers open their masks] This is exactly what you think it is. So do us a favor and get down on the floor.
Johnny: [yelling] Ay, I said get down on the floor.[Cut to Kenan scared but standing]
Kyle: Looks like this guy needs a little help. Johnny, get me a chair.[Johnny brings a chair. Johnny and Kyle nicely helps Kenan to sit on a chair as he couldn’t get down because he was using mobility aid.]
Kyle: Alright, here you go.
Johnny: Wheels. Be careful.
Kenan: Thank you very much.
Beck: Fine, this is how this is going to work. You do exactly what we say and we’re all going to have a real good time.[Kyle jumps with his gun pointing at a lady who is still standing]
Kyle: What’s your problem?
Sasheer: [panicking] I don’t know. I’m sorry.
Johnny: Oh, no! Little princess ain’t in fairy tale land no more. Hey, do you want some water? \
Kyle: Sparkling or still?
Johnny: He said sparking [reloads his gun] or still?
Sasheer: Still.[cut to Kyle getting water from the filter for Sasheer]
Kyle: Okay. Gotta keep hydrated.
Sasheer: Oh, thank you.[Cut to Kate sitting down. Beck is walking towards her.]
Beck: Every banks gotta have a manager. Right? There she is. Come on, stand up. [Beck holds Kate and pulls her up.] You know the drill. Now, while I take your lovely manager back to the vault, I trust that there ain’t gonna be any interruptions.[Cut to Johnny]
Johnny: And if we hear one little peep out of any of you, you’re gonna be spending the night at DG cemetery.[Cut to a man hugging a boy. The boy lets his marble ball go. The ball rolls to Kyle. Kyle picks it up and walks to them.]
Kyle: Does this belong to you little boy?[Cut to the man and the boy]
Taran: Do not hurt my son.
Kyle: Oh, we ain’t gonna hurt him. We’re just gonna teach him a lesson. On how learning can be fun.[Kyle wears a cap and starts teaching the boy]
Greetings, I am a union soldier. The year is Beck8KateJohnny and I am Beck9 years old. I am very hungry. And the winters are blistering cold.[Cut to the man and the boy]
The boy: Wow, cool![Cut to Kyle] [Johnny walks in with a hat] Johnny: And I am a confederate soldier. On the battlefield, we are enemies. But at home, we are brothers. [Cut to Aidy screaming] [Kyle walks to Aidy]
Kyle: You think that’s scary? [Aidy was watching a movie on TV] Wait till you find out that she is actually– Wait! I’m going to ruin it.
Kyle: Hey, you need any butter?
Aidy: Yes, please.[Kyle puts the butter on popcorn.] [Cut to the vault. Kate is putting the money in the bag.]
Beck: I just realized, I know exactly what a girl like you needs.] [Kate looking worried] Kate: What?
Beck: Something like this. [Beck puts on a puppy pin on her coat]
Kate: Charlie![blasting sound] [Aidy screaming] [Cut to Johnny and Kyle. They popped the confetti blaster. They bring a cake for Aidy with birthday candles.]
Aidy: How did you know?
Kyle: We stole your wallet![Beck comes in running]
Beck: Alright everyone. Thank you so much for your cooperation. And now, we finally get to finish this song and dance.[The robbers put guns away and start singing and dancing]
Look I got the money, sorry if we scared you
now it’s time to go.[Robbers point the guns again and walk out]