Clint… Beck Bennett
Trevor… Mike O’Brien
Chad… James Franco[Starts with five friends. They are having camp fire.] [Everyone is laughing]
Sasheer: That wasn’t even the worst. The worst was when he was walking around with toilet with toilet paper hanging out of the back of his pants all day.[Cut to everyone laughing] [Clint is looking at Venessa]
Clint: Check out Trevor. So quiet.
Trevor: I talked like, a minute ago.
Clint: Bro, can I ask? Are we your only friends?
Trevor: What are you talking about?
Venessa: Clint! Don’t!
Clint: No, no. I’m genuinely asking. I’m helping the guy. Do you have any other friends besides us?[Cut to Trevor]
Trevor: Um, I’ve got, um… friend named Chad who goes to another school. You wouldn’t know. It’s funny, it’s crap.
Clint: You should bring him up here next weekend.
Trevor: I will. If you want. If it–[Cut to Trevor in his room walking here and there.] [Trevor looks at a magazine.]
Trevor: Grow a guy.[Cut to Trevor unboxing the package.] [Trevor reads the manual and puts in the formula] [Trevor is literally growing a person. First in a can, then in a fish bowl.] [Cut to Trevor smiling]
Trevor: Oh, hello there.[Cut to Chad in Trevor’s arms looking confused.] [Chad is crying and feeding like a baby.] [Trevor is teaching Chad other stuffs.]
Trevor: Wikipesia. These are tweets. This is all Guardians of the Galaxy. Popular movie.[Cut to the friends camping again. Chad is also there.]
Clint: Just stick it in there little bit more.
Venessa: Okay, everybody shut up for a second.[Cut to Clint and Venessa]
I’ve got a game. Alright? Just close your eyes. Okay, you’re gonna thank me. [Cut to everybody closing their eyes.] Now, picture Mr. Douis having sex.
Pete: What do you guys think like, his dating situation is for real?[Cut to Trevor and Chad]
Trevor: Genuinely, I’d rather picture him having sex than on a date.
Venessa: You’re so right, Trevor.[Cut to Clint and Venessa]
Clint: Hey, Chad. I can see you can drink my beer. Can you talk too?
Clint: What? I’m genuinely asking.[Cut to Trevor and Chad]
Chad: I am Groot. That is funny. Guardians!
I can talk. Hey, what are hashtags?[Cut to Clint and Venessa]
Clint: Say that again?[Cut to Trevor and Chad]
Chad: No, I get that they’re to flag a socialble term in your tweet but wouldn’t it work just the same if you didn’t put the number symbol there?[Cut to Sasheer]
Sasheer: What?[Cut to Trevor and Chad]
Chad: I’m seriously asking.
Trevor: Chad, drop it. It’s nothing.[Cut to Clint and Venessa]
Clint: Hey, can I ask you something, bro? Are you a grow a guy? Because I’m not super thrilled by the idea of a grow a guy eating my family’s marshmallows at our nice ass lake house. So, I guess I’m curious. Chad? Are you a grow a guy?[Cut to Trevor and Chad]
Chad: Yes, I am that.
Clint: Yes, I knew it. I win. No other friends![Cut to Trevor and Chad]
Trevor: This sucks. God, you don’t even work. I’m throwing you out.
Chad: Actually, you don’t have to do that. We self-destruct.
Trevor: Like how would you–[Chad bursts] [Cut to Sasheer and Pete]
Pete: I mean, he kind of did have a point bout the hasntags, right?[Cut to Clint and Venessa]
Clint: Are you a grow a guy too?[Cut to Sasheer and Pete. Pete smiles and bursts.] [cut to Trevor]
Trevor: Guess, he was a grow a guy.[Cut to Clint and Venessa]
Clint: Yeah! Me too. Peace![Clint also bursts] [Cut to Sasheer, Venessa and Trevor]
Trevor: I guess it’s just me and the ladies.[Sasheer and Venessa burst too. Trevor is alone.]