Monologue Jim Carrey as Helvis Sings About Pecan Pie

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Jim Carrey

[Starts with SNL monologue intro]

Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, Jim Carrey.

[Jim Carry walks in and to the stage. He is wearing red funky clothes and he has horns on his head.] [cheers and applause]

Jim Carrey: Thank you. Thank you. No, you might as well stop. It will never be enough. I am so excited to be here hosting the Halloween episode of Saturday Night Live.

[cheers and applause]

Yeah! Yes. I personally love Halloween. Everyone dresses up in crazy outfits and acts insane. It’s the one day of year that I actually blend in. For this Halloween, I’ve decided to be a bit of a hybrid. I call this ‘Helvis’. Now, we all know that Helvis went to heaven. That’s easy enough to prove. But while he was here, he did like to raise a little hell.

[people howling at the back]

He also really loved peanut butter and banana sandwiches. But eventually, he came to an important realization.

[Acting like Elvis Presley]

Man cannot live on fried peanut butter and sandwiches alone. I mean,what about dessert?

[music stars playing and Jim Carrey starts singing and dancing]

Well it’s late at night and I’m a hungry man
we’ve been howling with the beat of band
and I kind of emptied down in my soul
jelly in my belly starts to rock n’ roll
Is that a red finer diner by the side of the road
I got to order something out of the mode
I’ll have a pecan pie
I’ll have a pecan pie

Later at the house I’m gonna have some fun
turning up the TV with a loaded gun
Racked a bit karate and I get it right
working up my king size appetite
Is that a red thick thing to the store
I got to order what I have before,
I’ll have a pecan pie
I’ll have a pecan pie
I’ll have a pecan pie
I’ll have a pecan pie
I’ll have a pecan pie
I’ll have a pecan pie
I’ll have a pecan pie

When I say jump, all of my dude
I can use a power like a voodoo
before the show in Honolulu
I said to crew, when I’m through
I’ll have a pecan pie

[Four SNL cast members join Jim Carrey as back up singers and dancers]

I’ll have a pecan pie
I’ll have a pecan pie
I’ll have a pecan pie
I’ll have a pecan pie
I’ll have a pecan pie

Next day at 3 I’ma coming around
climbing off the charts but I’m feeling down
gonna be painting out a lot of loots
all the eating get to making me a bigger suit
smoking little dubbies hit around and talk
then my blood sugar’s dropping like a rock
I need a pecan pie
I need a pecan pie

[Other SNL cast members join Jim Carrey as back up singers and dancers]

I need a pecan pie
I need a pecan pie
I need a pecan pie
I need a pecan pie
I need a pecan pie
I need a pecan pie

[everybody on the stage are clapping while singing]

I need a pecan pie
I need a pecan pie
I need a pecan pie
I need a pecan pie
I need a pecan pie
I need a pecan pie
I need a pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa papa wants a pecan pie

That song made me hungry. Hey red, [Bobby Moynihan appears infront of Helvis] You’re gonna sit here all day with that stupid look in your face while I starve to death? Or you’re gonna up your ass and get me a pecan pie.

[Jim Carrey sings again]

I don’t want a cherry
No more ordinary

[Bobby Moynihan gets him a pie on a plate]

Hallelujah
Finally got a pecan pie!

[Jim Carrey eats the pie and spits it out.]

That’s a lemon pie, man!

Bobby Moynihan: Got you! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. [Bobby Moynihan leaves] [music starts again]

Jim Carrey: We’ll be right back. Iggy Azalea is here. Helvis has left the building.

[cheers and applause]

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

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