Poetry Lovers

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Ashley…Sarah Silverman

Scott… Kyle Mooney

Brian… Beck Bennett

[Starts with Ashley reading a book ‘The December Generation’ in a park.] [Scott walks to Ashley]

Scott: Hmm, the December Generation.

Ashley: Oh, this, yes. ‘The December Generation’, it’s a term–

Scott: [sitting down by Ashley’s side] That Jack O’Boyle used to describe a group of poets and artists from late 50s and early 60s.

[Cut to Ashley]

Ashley: Exactly.

[Cut to Scott]

Scott: Personally, I’m partialled at Christopher Patel.

[Cut to Ashley]

Ashley: Me too.

Scott: I love his poem ‘A Life Before’.

Ashley: The times we had,

the madness of it all

[Cut to Scott completing Ashley’s poem. They are staring at each other’s eyes.]

Scott: The dreams of life,

the truth we wear

Ashley: The fear, the pain and everything hereafter

[cut to Scott]

Scott: Leads to this moment.

Both: The life before.

Scott: I’m Scott.

[Cut to Ashley]

Ashley: Ashley.

[Cut to Ashley and Scott. 3 pops out of Ashley’s back]

Brian: Hey, man! Quit talking to my girlfriend like that. [Cut to 3] I’m gonna kick–

[Cut to Scott]

Scott: –kick my butt.

[Cut to 3 smiling] [3 slowly stands]

Brian: Because I’m not gonna put up with little–

[Cut to Scott completing 3’s sentence.]

Scott: –pieces of turn.

Scott and 3: From planet Earth.

Scott: Scott.

[Cut to Ashley, Scott and 3.]

Brian: Brian.

[Scott and 3 shake their hands.]

In your–

Scott and 3: –worst nightmare.

[Scott and 3 smile at each other] [Scott pushes 3 hard] [Cut to many clips of 3 bullying Scott] [Cut to Scott]

Scott: And then he made me eat this.

[Scott shows Ashley what he ate]

Ashley: Stinky Sue Supreme?

Scott: Yeah! [Scott burps]

Ashley: Brian, your temper’s out of control.

[Cut to 3 not talking back] [Cut to Ashley]

Ashley: You’re nothing but an immature–

[Cut to 3 completing Ashley’s sentence]

Brian: –emotionally stunted–

[Cut to Ashley going on with her sentence]

Ashley: –self indulgent–

Ashley and 3: Child!

[Ashley and 3 look at each other smiling]

Brian: I’m Brian.

Ashley: Ashley.

Brian: Would you want to break up with me?

Ashley: I’d like that a lot. Sayonara–

[3 completing Ashley’s statement]

Ashley and 3: -sucker!

[Cut to Ashley carrying 3 and throwing him into the garbage.]

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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