Corey Chisum… Taran Killam
Grace Chisum… Cecily Strong
Louis Dukes… Martin Freeman
Emily Margine… Aidy Bryant
Keith Urban… Kate McKinnon[Starts with WSB/TV Atlanta intro]
Announcer: You’re watching WSB/TV Atlanta. Up next, it’s Right side of the Bed.[Cut to Right side of the Bed video bumper] [Cut to Corey Chisum and Grace Chisum on a sofa]
Corey Chisum: Good mid-morning, y’all.
Grace Chisum: Y’all, you’re watching Right side of the Bed. I’m Grace Chisum. And I’m here with my husband, the diva, himself.
Corey Chisum: Ah! Oh, please! I m Corey Chisum and she’s already trying to get on my nerves.
Grace Chisum: You just can handle it.
Corey Chisum: I handled you for about two hours straight last night, didn’t hear you complain.
Grace Chisum: Corey, get your mouth out of the gutter.
Corey Chisum: Well, excuse me, that’s where it lives.
Grace Chisum: Okay, whatever guys, we got some great guests today. Coming up later is local contractor Louis Dukes.
He’s gonna show us some right tips winterizing our homes.
Corey Chisum: There he is. Hi, Louis. He’s little cutie. He promises that he is gonna cut our heating bill in half.
Grace Chisum: Well, if anyone could do it, Louis Dukes can do it. He’s the best.
Corey Chisum: I hear you.
Louis Dukes: Um, am I still on camera?
Corey Chisum: Wave and smile
Louis Dukes: Wave and smile? Okay.
Corey Chisum: Ha-ha-ha. Okay, now that’s enough wave. Okay, Louis, we’re gonna check in with you later.
Grace Chisum: Bye, Louis. Boy, I can’t wait to hear those tips. Our bills so ding-dong high.
Corey Chisum: Well, our bill’s high coz you always got the fridge door open.
Grace Chisum: Now, Corey, don’t go there. I can talk about my weight, you cannot.
Corey Chisum: Well, I’m the one who dresses you in the morning.
Grace Chisum: Oh, please.
Corey Chisum: I’m the one who has to zip up your slacks in the back.
Grace Chisum: Oh, my god.
Corey Chisum: Thank you.
Grace Chisum: Corey! Just looking at you makes me tired.
Corey Chisum: Ah!
Grace Chisum: Okay, guys, if you’re just joining us, later on we’ve got local contractor Louis Dukes with his winter tips.[Cut to Louis Dukes chewing his nails]
Corey Chisum: Alright Louis. We caught him. We caught him off guard. That’s okay, Louis. I guess he’s just about the handiest man around.
Louis Dukes: Is it time now?
Kyle: No, we’re just on our way. You look great.] [Kyle walks away] [Louis Dukes is waving his one hand and holding a saw with his other hand.]
Corey Chisum: Oh, my goodness. Looks like he’s got a lot to show us, something with the saw. Oh, man, we can’t wait to talk to you a little bit later, Louis.
Grace Chisum: Okay, see you soon Louis.[Cut to Corey Chisum and Grace Chisum]
Oh, man! Is it just me or he’s as cute as the cutest thing there could be?
Corey Chisum: Oh! Watch it, lady. You are all mine.
Grace Chisum: You know, I’m joking. I’m just pulling both of your legs.
Corey Chisum: Well, I’m gonna pull your hair while you pull something else on me.
Grace Chisum: Corey! You are a true hand on.
Corey Chisum: What? I’m just a red blooded American male like everybody else on the planet.
Grace Chisum: Okay. You’re acting like a tool. And tools are Louis’s thing.[Cut to Louis Dukes]
There he is.
Louis Dukes: Are you kidding?[Kyle walks in]
Kyle: Come on, dance![Kyle walks away] [Louis Dukes starts dancing]
Corey Chisum: Wow, Louis, Louis, he gotta go! Oh, my goodness. That I’m so excited. Look, he’s dancing.[Cut to Corey Chisum and Grace Chisum]
Grace Chisum: Wow, does he know how to tease a segment or what?
Corey Chisum: I wish you knew something about teasing.
Grace Chisum: Oh! Please! I am the one who likes foreplay.
Corey Chisum: Get real, miss thing. You just hop on it like a hog full of corncob.
Grace Chisum: You are out of control today. Okay guys, before we get to Louis, we got something kind of sad. We’re gonna be talking to our producer Emily Margine whose half brother was just this morning at 7 am executed by the side of Georgia.[Cut to Emily Margine waving her hand]
Oh, she must be sad.
Corey Chisum: Yeah, she sure looks sad, don’t she?[cut to sad Emily Margine and Louis Dukes dancing]
Oh, but look at Louis. He’s still dancing.
Louis Dukes: Am I supposed to be here right now?
Emily Margine: Why are you dancing?
Louis Dukes: He told me to.[Cut to Corey Chisum and Grace Chisum]
Corey Chisum: What? That’s a phrase he told her.
Grace Chisum: Okay, someone’s trying to be a drama queen up in here.
Corey Chisum: Excuse me, Louis, that is my job.
Grace Chisum: That’s his.
Corey Chisum: It’s on my license plate. D-R-M-A-N-Q-N, Drama-qn.
Grace Chisum: Guys, you got a cigarette, coz we’ve got so many great guests. We got Louis Dukes, Sad producer Margine, and best of all, country sensation Keith Urban is here to show us how to winterize our home.[Cut to Louis Dukes, Emily Margine and Keith Urban]
Keith Urban: Your house is gonna be as warm as wallway’s patch.
Louis Dukes: Keith Urban is winterizing too? Why?
Kyle: Just dance.[Louis Dukes start dancing]
Corey Chisum: We’ll be back. See you later.
Grace Chisum: I will see you guys.
Corey Chisum: Thanks Louis.