Han Solo… Taran Killam
Finn… Jay Pharoan
Princess Leia… Bobby Moynihan
Luke Skywalker… James Franco
Lando… Kenan Thompson
Tendra … Leslie Jones
[Starts with men flying future jets. It’s a Star Wars trailer.]
Male voice: There is an alliance of heroes. The new and the old.
[They have future weapons and space ships.]
[Cut to the space ship war scene]
[Cut to Han Solo]
Han Solo: I’m Han Solo. Captain of the Millennium Falcon.
[Cut to Finn]
Finn: I need to find Luke Skywalker.
Han Solo: What?
Finn: I need to find Luke Skywalker.
[Cut to Han Solo]
Han Solo: Alright. Wait. What?
Finn: Can you help me find Luke Skywalker?
Han Solo: Hold on! I’ll take the early bird special.
[Cut to Princess Leia with RFinnDFinn]
Princess Leia: Let’s see what we got here. I’m done with the menu. I don’t want the menu. I want to record– Hey, Han! How do you work this freaking thing?
[Cut to Luke Skywalker in a cave of the dessert]
Male voice: Luke! Luke
Luke Skywalker: I see there’s Devin’s in the forest. I must go.
[Luke Skywalker turns his equipment on. It becomes support walker of lasers.]
[Cut to Han Solo in a space ship]
Han Solo: Joey!
Joey: I thought you’ll fix it.
Han Solo: Take your damn glider off!
[Cut to Lando looking outside from home.]
Tendra: Lando! Did you fix the dishwasher yet?
[Cut to Lando and Tendra]
Lando: Baby, please.
[Cut to Tendra]
Tendra: Get your ass in here and fix it.
[Cut to Lando and Tendra]
Lando: But I got on my cape. I shouldn’t have to do no dam chores.
Tendra: What?
Lando: Nothing.
Tendra: Damn what?
[Cut to Han Solo and Princess Leia walking in a corridor. BB-8 passes by.]
Han Solo: Hold on, hold on!
[Han Solo lets BB-8 cross.]
Han Solo: What the [bleep] was that?
[Cut to Luke Skywalker. He’s levitating the medicines and puts them to the weekly scheduled container.]
Luke Skywalker: I have a thyroid issue like my father before me.
[Cut to a ship flying on desert.]
[Cut to Star Wars: The Force Awakens video bumper.]
